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cult leader - carl christensen lyrics

verse 1*

well i rolled out of bed and i checked my phone it was the weekly end of the world and so i called my friend with several acres of land and said “let’s start a cult my man”
he said “carl, you must be out your god d*mn mind. there’s no way we convince people that we’re divine. you’ve had ego issues in the past my friend but you’ve out done yourself this time.”

chorus 1*
but don’t it sound nice to have 17 wives and live of the land and have campfires every night?
how hard could it really be, to form a new society? just wave your hands and say we got what you need

verse 2:
he said “carl you might have me convinced you are quite well known for your charismatic*ness and our organization could be quite amazing. whats the worst that could come of this?”
so i put some adds up on some websites, “are you searching for a deeper purpose in life? and if every single just feels so mundane i can make all of that change”

we grow our own food out in the garden, and we host group yoga every morning so just take the night to open your third eye and we think you’ll fit in just fine
you’re so special and we all care about you but there’s one or two things you’re gonna need to prove, we need loyalty of the highest degree speaking strictly financially

chorus 2:
but don’t it sound great to live free of hate? just come with us your happiness awaits
join our tribe we promise you’ll thrive, and we think you’ll fine it’s well worth the fine

verse 3:
we’d been growing our numbers for six months or so, then i got a call on the telephone and i could not believe who was speaking to me, it was the u.s military
they said, “sir, we’ve been watching you and we are quite impressed. your people sign away their lives without a second guess and if you care to share some tips of the trade name your price and it’ll get paid.”
i said, “it’s not complex, i’m sure you’ll agree n0bodies problems in life are really all that unique, so just say you can make the problems go away and keep the details vague”

chorus 3:
yeah make it sound like you can fix their lives and all you need are their initials on the dotted line
just give them something to believe a purpose or cause they can follow blindly
verse 4:
and when you’re starting a cult confusion is your friend, that might sound evil but its just a means to an end
so play your cards close to the table and you could end up with a thriving cult

- carl christensen lyrics

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