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i'm your sandvich - captain spalding lyrics

i’m your sandvich
saving heavies’ lives if they take too much damage
scout eating me but i’m gonna make him fat
would you like some french fries with that?
shove me in your face, we’re talking crammage
i’m your sandvich
but you can call me ham and cheese
the only way you’ll eat me is if you’re going heavy
you’re like “come on sandvich, just a bite please
i’m starving over here, i’m down on my knees”
pumpernickel, rye, any bread you please
toasted, dry, or with a mustard squeeze
provolone or swiss, i’m filled with cheese
you wish you’d had another one just like me
i’m your sammich

i’m your sandvich
maybe you would think i’m not much of an advantage
fat commie b-st-rd chewing mouth open
what were the dudes at valve smokin’?
forums filling up with rantage
stop crying ’bout me when i give you health
for saving the chainsaw for somebody else
at least i’m delicious
everyone’s got wishes
even a sandvich like myself
if you lift my lid here is what you’ll see, i’ve hid
a little mayonnaise spread
lettuce, tomato, piled high with meat, kid
man, don’t forget the cheese
with an olive and a toothpick for your teeth
i’m your sammich

i’m your sandvich
soviet-built, you could call me a manwich
people’s party, party people’s bread
comrades, i prefer it on team red
capitalist pigs should be banished
i’m your sandvich
you think that i am useless? yeah, i heard you said it
you miss your puny shotgun? man, don’t you get it?
someone’s getting really sick of healing your -ss
he’s called a medic

so you’ve lost a lot of blood? then eat me b-tch!
shovel me down like you was digging a ditch
ham and cheese, reuben, submarine too
any way you slice it, i’m good for you
and i’m the sandvich

- captain spalding lyrics

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