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calypso's crabs - captain dan and the scurvy crew lyrics

calypso’s got crabs!!!
yar! yar! yar! yar!
calypso’s got crabs!!!
yar! yar! yar! yar!

(cap d)
calypso, you’s a nasty ho, you know you got crabs
so many comin’ at me nethers that i can’t even stab
too much lovin’ them lads who’s not wearin’ bags
you know a 50 foot mast could stick in yer vaj
populations of crustaceans from relations with them nations
whole generations banged without discrimination
plantations in yer bas-m-nt, a jungle of fungal
makin’ a wig, replacements rollin’ p-b-s up in bundles
what else is hidden or what’s been given
by the sea of sailors whose boats you’ve ridden?
ain’t kiddin’, i’m admittin’ that i’m scared of what yer dishin’
you give it up so easy might just be a tradition
my suspicions were correct; admission of objects
whose size can be from pinheads to entire ship wrecks
now keep them crabs in check or else i’ll stab yer in the neck
ye give a whole new meaning to hittin’ the deck!

calypso’s got crabs!!!
yar! yar! yar! yar!
calypso’s got crabs!!!
yar! yar! yar! yar!

(scott free)
this ho, calypso, is nothing but sick, yo
the b-tch is so greasy she looks covered in crisco
i even heard she’s got one h-ll of a cyst, bro
they say she’s seductive, but i can resist though
i can’t stand her sight ’cause she’s covered in parasites
and you know if ye share a night then surely you’ll share her plight
a colony of crabs livin’ next to her vaj
if ye ran through that, yer deservin’ a badge
she makes men compulsive even though she’s so repulsive
one whiff of that p-ss will turn you convulsive
it doesn’t matter if you puke, she’s not after your loot
she’s just looking for some fun knocking some boots
it may sound fict-tious but she’s not like average b-tches
known to be so vicious to get chasing men to get them out they britches
what her niche is, the sn-tch is malicious – smells of them fishes
don’t be falling for her pitches or give into her wishes

calypso’s got crabs!!!
yar! yar! yar! yar!
calypso’s got crabs!!!
yar! yar! yar! yar!

(sea dawg)
whether crabs or fleas, because you please with ease
you’ve become a museum of stds
touch you? i’d rather fall off a cliff
i know sailors who are dead from just takin’ a whiff
i wanna capture a fort? sneak you in at night
you’re there for 3 days, their men are too weak to fight
take the treasure and leave, ye be the ace up me sleeve
show those doctors somethin’ that they can’t believe
it’s said that the pen can k!ll more than the sword
well the pen’s got nothin’ on you ya wh0r-
on the bed or the floor, against the mast or the door
you do what ya do, and he can’t do anymore
you’re life on the outside, but death to the core
the stuff of campfire legend and lore
ye got rapport up and down the sh0r-
yer the first official weapon of biological war

calypso’s got crabs!!!
yar! yar! yar! yar!
calypso’s got crabs!!!
yar! yar! yar! yar!

- captain dan and the scurvy crew lyrics

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