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addicted and cursed - capdude lyrics

[intro]
i used to say a hundred times i didn’t do drugs and i loved life
but i was alright
but noone knew when i went home i took pills hoping i wouldn’t die
it just felt right at the time but i know now why it wasn’t alright
i love life
so here’s a story
and a hate letter about why

[verse 1]
used to be addicted to rispridone
without it i felt like i was on acetone
and got no rest at home
could barely watch my tone
on schizo meds felt right in tune
i came to conclusion that i was abusing
when i took too many pills
and started using
i was on other pills too
hated when i losе them
the more i usеd them the more i thought
that if i wanna die this way then pills are all i got
i stood up one day and said f*ck it i’ve had enough
i ain’t taking five a day no more hiding them in my pocket
its gonna be rough
it’s gonna f*cking be tough
the reality is that i thought of it for months
it started to get f*cked up
i wokeup one night
took like eight of them my heart beat so fast i swore it was the end of em
turns out the other pills i took
give you heart attacks oh well
i didn’t have one
so i guess i’m invulnerable now
my parents found out when i had to refill my prescription pills and the doctor said it should be more half full
so here’s my story the life of the pill
it was a hard road after that but im so f*cking glad i stopped the bull cr*p and found my way back
i didn’t wanna end up like the people i looked up to cause all i wanna say every day is i loved this dude
i shouldn’t even have to say who this is about cause millions spent their days after that thinking of k!lling themselves
i didn’t wanna live that short
i went cold turkey and felt burnt
like a fern in my belt it hurt
when it was done i was free
felt healthy like a god rising out of the dirt
i’ll never forget the day
i swore to myself i’ll never get addicted
to anything on or off the shelf
i sit here reminiscenting about how i used to be so young i told myself the same thing about how
i never get addicted but now i cry here like not now
the people
so f*ck you people who were weirded out when i say sh*t i took
and how good it felt
{bridge]
i wanna address some words to someone i loved before this song ends
and lyrics are left in the dust

[verse 2]
someone i trusted more
then any other one
i didn’t want you to see this
but i mentioned it to you
and you fell into pieces
crying about how much you wanna thank jesus you found me and not yeezus
but the other original
not the versus
the verse i’m doing is the worst sh*t
for mentally like a curse
shouldn’t have blurt cause
now this will hurt
so
it’s probably been a while
since i release this in pieces
but just know that i had to redid this
and make it into a diss
im sorry aboit this but
at the time i write this i’m p*ssed
i originally versed this as a love letter cause at the time you exist
but now it’s been so long since we kissed
we were the only one
i wanted to f*cking liv e with
but now i see you at school i hate it
i’m so sorry our ship didn’t make it
i wish i could change it but you thought i would beat you now ain’t it
you were hit by many guys
at the same time
but it wasn’t me who hit you at any time
so who am i to blame and why
said trust me while looking into your f*cking eyes which wasn’t enough cause you said goodbye later that night after the 6 hours i cried
it wasn’t cause you liked any other guy
your parents just
didn’t want us to be together
which is weird cause they said
i was the one that they liked
now i understand how you feel when my parents fight
cause your dad did some f*cked up sh*t to your mom at night
but i wasn’t gonna leave you like he did
doesn’t matter but you thought i might
but i dont fight i live life like no other guy
i actually love the people i like
16 guys you date
to put that into perspective thats two a year since you were 8
i must have been insane to think it would last longer then 37 days
staring at every girl in a gaze hurt by your ways cause every girl is the same
i don’t wanna say you made my life worse
but when you left i felt cursed
you took the h*rns off your mogi
cause you left them stuck in me
like a glass purse
i loved you and you never got hurt
i gave you my love
and you said no way
but i guess it could have been worse
cause we dated but that only made it
my life feel more cursed cause
without you i felt empty and upset at first
and now i feel happy at last i feel blursed
but i want you to know one last time
i don’t commit crimes or do worse
i’m not the bad guy
that left you to be abused by words
this isn’t a diss this is my confession
if love is hard to find
you were the best then
it was me
you messed it up by stressing

- capdude lyrics

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