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hyper - caleb kitchen lyrics

[intro]
meet eddie
twenty*three years old
his roommates left a tray of cocaine covered brownies in his refrigerator

ah, man, dude, i get hyper when i eat all that sugar
oh, pixie dust on brownies
boy i’m gonna eat all of this and get really hyper

later that night

[verse]
woah, this is a new type of hyper
like i sucked on snake fangs
and i’m hopped up on viper
i hold my breath like i’m a sniper
thinking i’ll float up
but i just sh*t my diaper

i’m a little baby
i’m a little baby boy
no doubt this sh*t is wild
bad news everybody!
i just found out that i’m a child
and i like toys
just like every other little baby
little baby boys
and i like brownies
stuff my face until there’s not a trace
but this batch gave me a case of the frownies
they may be brown
but they’re from this country
not a mexican food, dude
speaking of which, i’m kinda hungry

so i go to the store to get me some snacks
i’m looking at all the chips on the racks
they got all the dips in the back
and i’m starting to have a panic attack
because the man at the counter knows i ate the brownies
the only way out is to act like an amnesiac

so i flood the counter with the sh*t i wanna eat
i can tell this guy wants to introduce my ass to the boots on his feet
but that’s not a pair of things i want to meet
i pay with card, he asks me to sign the receipt? (f*ck!)

he wants to enter me in the government’s mainframe
so i claim i forgot my name
he says he ain’t got time for my games
as fast as i can i draw a d*ck without shame

i run
that was a close one
just my initials would have got me caught
they look up “p*n*s”, and they’ll find none
i’m so smart, but i cannot keep a train of thought
back at the crib, whoa
i never liked this show
but that’s a really funny joke they told
so i think i’m gonna watch every episode

never mind, man
my mind’s getting sidetracked
i think god himself gave me a good slap
in the sack
my nuts bouncing around like a scaredy cat
that just saw a cucumber
what the f*ck are those?
it’s like a pickle that tastes like toes
it kinda reminds me of squidward’s nose
that squid didn’t like wearing clothes
i mean, he had a shirt, i suppose
always wanted to slumber
and compose songs with the clarinet
this hyper hasn’t wore off yet

i see someone’s silhouette
i begin to sweat as he makes a threat
oh, that’s my shadow
i thought i was in debt
and it was a loan shark
here to f*ck me with a d*ld*
i wanna go to the park
so here i go!
on the swings
more higher than boba fett
more hyper than the lego set
with boba fett

i don’t know if hyper was the right word
i was so excited when i got it though
i mean the meaning of words is so absurd
they’re objectively meaningless human audio, bro

like wiener
blah blah blah blah faceless
chicken wing, beaner
objectively that last word wasn’t racist
please don’t sue me, mexico!

[bridge]
whoa, oh, sh*t!
i fell off the swing, dude
i completely forgot i was on the swing
haha
f*ck
dude, where am i?

[verse 2]
i’m stumbling now
fumbling my thumbs
and wondering how we all got here
i was born
but not before washington or shakespeare
when i die it will not disappear
that’s queer
not the g*y kinda way
more like that’s weird

man, i’m not so hyper
i’m counting sheep
i’m close enough to home
i’m going to sleep
yeah, just keep playing the beat

[outro]
meet stan
twenty*one years old
he’s a h0m*s*xual rapist!

i’m gonna f*ck this sleeping guy!

- caleb kitchen lyrics

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