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my anxiety - cal scruby lyrics

[verse 1]
i find it hard to describe my anxiety
feel like my heart and my mind got a rivalry
feel like my thoughts and emotions are fighting inside of me
i gotta get this sh-t out of me
i feel like forest i’m running from everything
i never saw that sh-t in its entirety
if you need someone to get something
90% done and quit on it, you should just hire me
i’m feeling closer to death
i feel a hole in my chest
feel like i’m stuck underwater
feel like i’m holding my breath
like it’s the only one left
n-body know i’m depressed
even the people that know me the best
i call my momma, she told me the rest
i only get out of bed to get more cigarettes, yeah

[chorus]
i’ve been so close i can taste it
i’ve been so far i’ve been patient
i take a bar and get wasted
part of my brain is erased when i got to mars in a sp-ceship
its written all over my face and no one relates
i don’t know how long i can take it
you want a smile, i’ma fake it, copy and paste it
thats an alright imitation, yeah

[verse 2]
is someone coming to save me?
i’m faded it don’t even phase me
i’ve had a hater thats showing me love
and i’ve had a lover betray me
i’ve had a lot of lessons, still got a lot of questions
still don’t got any answers
eat your veggies, pray for a lotta blessings
die from like twenty cancers
thats why i’m taking these drugs
thats why i’m up till the morning
shot, after shot, after shot, i can’t stop it i’m zoning
shrugging like jordan did playing against portland
still can’t afford all the sh-t that i need
i get to anxious when i hit the weed
i take a pill and i’m feeling relieved
i take another, i triple the speed

[verse 3]
i’m looking happy online, but it’s not what you think
i’m loosing touch if i’m touching a screen
one minute i think i love everybody
and then i’m like “f-ck everything”
i’m looking happy online, but it’s not what you think
i’m loosing touch if i’m touching a screen
one minute i think i love everybody
and then i’m like “f-ck everything”
on a highway to h-ll, or a stairway to heaven
and i’m stuck in the middle, i can’t make a decision
i don’t think i’m suicidal, but if i was, i won’t admit it
like i’d be okay with dying, if i’m not the one who did it

- cal scruby lyrics

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