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what made me!? - cackjooling lyrics

[verse 1]
i’m looking through my books
now they’re not books, yeah they’re just relics
of a time that’s dead and gone
when i was oh so academic
now the music and my few mates
are the only things i relish
yeah, not much gives me a buzz these days
i’m numb but not depressive
like before laid on the floor
when i was feeling bare obsessive
wouldn’t say i don’t want more
but every day i count my blessings
’cause i wake up in the morning
with a roof over my head
it’s mad how man speed down the highway
and they lose their empathetic side
i’ve been through it all
so i’m never forgetting mine
i try to open up the curtains
see the sun and let it shine
i guess when you hit rock bottom
things can only get better so
if something’s bugging you
you better k!ll it off like pesticide

[chorus]
i wanna know
what made me
i wanna know
what made me
i wanna know
what made me
i wanna know
what made me

[verse 2]
i wanna know why i’m tired all the time
why i find it hard to cry
and i’m trying hard to find the answers
in hindsight, i think i’m lying
when i smile and say “i’m fine”
and i go along with my mates’ banter
i just need to realise
that nothing is black or white
but the grey makes my life feel backwards
sometimes my head’s as clear as daylight
but some force from above comes
and blinds me after
blinds me after
blinds me after
it blinds me after
it blinds me after

[bridge]
i don’t know who or what made me
i don’t know who or what made me
i don’t know who or what made me
i don’t know who or what made me
i don’t know who or what made me
i don’t know who or what made me
i don’t know who or what made me
i don’t know who or what made me

[verse 3: spoken word]
i don’t know who or what made me
so unfulfilled with existence
and incapable of feeling f*cking anything
i wake up and wake up with nothing in between
i just wanna go back to like a simpler time like
like, remember when the world cup was on
and the sun was out and like*
now i spend every waking moment trying to figure out
whether it is a waking moment
two modes
apathetically content or debilitatingly perplexed
today i decided to be a misanthrope
to disregard others in favor of being enveloped in introspection
to wrestle with my mind
dragging it from its existentialist fascinations
but the conflict is perpetual
a war of attrition where our battalions are laid to rest
but when the treaty is signed, there will be no answer
i won’t go back to 2018
i won’t have complete control
i won’t know who, or what made me

[outro]
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void. sh*t! i fell into a void
i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void, sh*t! i fell into a void
sh*t! i fell into a void
i fell into a void

- cackjooling lyrics

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