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bunghole prophet (intro) - bunghole prophet lyrics

[monologue]
now listen here
i’mma tell y’all a story about me, and my -sshole
straight from the devil himself
-sigh-
when i was born, my density did not – did not match how big i was, and so the doctors did a test
one of the doctors tried sticking one of his weaselly little f-cking fingers in my bunghole
and he was never seen again
sucked into the endless void that is my f-cking colon
-sigh-
it’s been a hard life, having such a carnaverous -sshole as mine
i f-cked up that word, i meant cavernous
-sigh-
as a child, i was bullied for having a big -sshole, as when children would throw stones at me, they would just get sucked right in
disappearing without a trace into the void, the blackhole, that is my sh-thole
-sigh-
it’s pain
but just when times get rough, i come to awakening that my bunghole may come with bad things, but so do all the best things in life
i have endless storage
i can give endless life from my -sshole
my -sshole is so big
if you climb inside my -sshole and make it out, you will have eternal life
i can give all of my loved ones eternal life because of my enormous bunghole and that is the greatest gift i’ve ever received
i will never die because of my bunghole
me and my loved ones, my family and friends, we can all live in harmony together because of this beautiful, beautiful thing that has been graced upon me on god’s good earth

[instrumental break]
-sigh-
-sounds of smoking-
-sounds of drinking-

[monologue]
i have a long for this dark, dark underside of my nether reaches that will be unmatched by any love to come for the rest of time
it’s so big
oh, christ
i can see all because of how big my -sshole is
i’ve seen things you could never imagine
beautiful things, cruel things
i know everyone’s fate
i can tell you how the world ends, how it began, and everything in between
i am a prophet
a bunghole prophet

- bunghole prophet lyrics

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