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caliginous waltz - broadway karkat lyrics

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[opening]
“she still won’t look my way!
but this quadrant, there’s another way
there are four of them after all
and n0body ever said moirallegiance was completely vanilla…
…but then i’d be committing infidelity with gamzee, and i’d seem desperate.”

[verse 1]
this is wrong, it’s so wrong
i’m so torn that i don’t know what to do
fighting with stoic pr*cks when i just wanna fix
everything i screwed up over you
practically got insane, got sick fires on the brain
pretty sure i f*cked this up from the start!
if we change red to black…?
“hey! cut me some slack.”
a spade upside*down is a heart
[verse 2]
this spade is my heart! on this dark, dizzy, merry*go*round
i might be in denial, it’s not like i’m on trial
oh, i toss and i turn, yet her blind eyes still burn
straight through to the pit of my soul
yes, i am guilty as charged
this spade is my heart!

[verse 3]
all those times when she pouted her lips, and called me…
“karkles…”
and whenever she guessed that my bloods bright hue, her eyes would
“sparkle…”
i still swoon when she walks through that door. gotta be…
cautious…
now she’s ass*over*teakettle for..(f*cking strider!!!)
i’m getting…nauseous..ugh…

[verse 4]
“c’mon vantas, you’re the man with the plan
the team leader. you gotta do something! but what?
i could always hunt down one of vriska’s dream bubbles and ask her on a movie date
aw, but that would never work! she’s got worse taste in cinema than the likes of even john egbert!
but wait! what if i coerced strider into..*
no!!! absolutely not! never in a million years, not even in either of their dreams!
over my dead body!”
[verse 5]
this f*cking sucks!
cheated! i feel cheated! i’m defeated i should give up right now!
gotta look on the bright side with all of my might
but i fall for her still, anyhow!!
if i’m dancing this dance, i won’t stand a chance!
her grip of romance makes me fall…
so, i guess might as well, dance this tango to h*ll
at least i’ll have tangoed at all

[verse 6]
this spade is my heart!
and i’ll dance till i’m singing the blues
i’ll pretend that i loathe her, so that i can still hold her!
but the end, it will come, so i gotta play dumb
till i’m glum and my chums leave me too…
i never did get the girl…
…though she’s the center of my world…

[closing]
“i need to take a long hike off a short meteor.”
this spade is…
my heart!!

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