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have you seen my laptop? - brian david gilbert lyrics

[intro, spoken]
*brian?
*yes?
*do you know where my laptop went?
have you seen my laptop?
*yeah, maybe
what is a laptop?
*it’s a small computer, you can… you have one right in front of you
*oh!
yes, it’s right here
*no
my laptop
*no, you don’t have one though
*that’s what i’m…
do you know where it is?
*pshhhhhhh, ahhhh, it’s kind of a long story…
*that’s fine
[sung with spoken parts]
come gather round and i’ll tell you a tale!
*you have… a hurdy gurdy?
a tale of a night, very much like the one tonight
*you have to sing this story?
*yes
the rain pelted cruelly the wind tore my hood
as i ran through the wood to my homestead
*how many verses is this?
*twelvе!
when i saw in a clearing, a figure was stood
bеckoning as if i were awaited
*when did… we live in brooklyn! nevermind, i’ll come back later
*i’ll skip to verse eleven!
“now you know”, said the wizard
“what price you must pay, to gain the reward you seek.”
*i feel like you skipped a lot
*you’ll get it through context
“you must trade me a treasure thats of commensurate or greater value than the suggested retail price of this mystical, ancient antique.”
so i granted the wizard a book forged in chrome
though it pained me to part and regret filled my mind
with a flourish he vanished along with my tome
leaving nought but this hurdy behind
leaving nought but this hurdy behind
*you p*wned my laptop to get a hurdy gurdy
*karen, i’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to remind me what a laptop is

- brian david gilbert lyrics

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