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how much i love you - brent barrett lyrics

[rodney, spoken]
yes, mr. knows*it*all savory! we have an expert on feminine beauty. and what are you gonna do about that?

(sung)
more than a catbird hates a cat
or a criminal hates a clue
or the axis hates the united states
that’s how much i love you
as a sailor’s sweetheart hates the sea
or a juggler hates a shove
as a wife detests unexpected guests
that’s how much you i love

i love you more than a wasp can sting
and more than a hangnail hurts
i love you more than commercials are a bore
and morе than a grapefruit squirts
i swear to you by the stars abovе
and below, if such there be
as a bride would resent a blessed event
that’s how you are loved by me

more than a waiter hates to wait
or a lioness hates the zoo
or a batter dislikes those called third strikes
that’s how much i love you
as much as a lifeguard hates to swim
or a writer hates to read
or the hays office frowns on low*cut gowns
that’s how much you i need
i love you more than a hive can itch
and more than a chilblain chills
i yearn for you in an ivy*clad igloo
as a liver yearns for pills
i swear to you by the earth below
and above, if such there be
as a dachshund abhors revolving doors
that’s how you are loved by me
that’s how you are loved by me

- brent barrett lyrics

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