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you know that bit between your testicles and your anus? - brabbins and fyfe lyrics

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[brabbins] i thought the pinnacle of frustration
in ceiling decoration
was getting those flecks of white paint in your hair
[fyfe] but the very devil stalks the land
when you’re up a ladder, brush in hand
as now we know but then were not aware

[brabbins] if the story we’re about to tell
might save another then very well
i won’t hold back on details; please take note
you see when painting up on high
i got something in my eye
and i owe this disposition to that mote

[fyfe] as brabbins stepped down from the raise
there was a parting of the ways
[brabbins] and i did the most acrobatic splits you’ll see
but a music stand beneath
got my best bits in its t–th
as i graced it like the fairy on top of a tree

[both] you know that bit between your t-st-cl-s and your -n-s?
[fyfe] the bit that’s sometimes covered in downy hair
[both] well there along the seam
the skin that’s in between
had opened like the door to a beggar’s lair

[brabbins] the feeling left me reeling
[fyfe] you’ll never paint another ceiling!
[brabbins] i can only ever perform at semi-lob
my perineum’s a wreck
i’ve lost me lower deck
[fyfe] and you’ve left me with half–rs-d job

[both] you know that bit between your t-st-cl-s and your -n-s?
[fyfe] indisputably the unloveliest body part
[brabbins] well, to summarise
there’s a hole between my thighs
and i can achieve a fine vibrato when i fart

- brabbins and fyfe lyrics

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