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introducing - boysnightout (boys night out) lyrics

test, check. well, he’s been released again today, and i’m back where i started: looking over old notes, listening to tapes, wondering how bad i potentially messed up this time. the wounds seem to be healing and he seems to be getting along, without his appendages. and i know he seemed fine; seems can be a very dangerous word, especially in this business – it can be fatal. initial diagnosis – catatonic. i know he’s back there somewhere, but there’s just no response whatsoever, to any kind of stimulus. we’ll start him with medication tomorrow – i’m sure of it. this man’s tragedy has made him a prisoner in his own body. and it’s not just tragedy, it’s dementia, despair. it’s this hole i can see in each of his eyes. for all the events that happened in this real world, kind of just fall through. it’s loneliness in it’s most crippling form: the kind that no amount of love, or human contact could ever mend. the patient was plagued by violent nightmares; terrible, deeply troubling dreams which one night overflowed into reality and he murdered his wife, in his sleep. these people were in love, deeply in love; and it was that love, filling those holes i can now see behind his eyes and it’s my job to try to fill those holes with something else, but with what? hope? i can fill his holes with drugs, soothing words – that’s all. i hope his wounds will heal with time, but right now, things aren’t looking good.

the lines i wear around my wrist are there to prove that i exist. [x4]

(patient): it’s inside my torso, behind my eyes, in the back of my head. it feels like something’s eating me alive, from the inside out.
(doctor): well, that’s grief, loss.
(patient): don’t tell me what it is.

- boysnightout boys night out lyrics

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