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in the meantime (new version) - blood girl lyrics

i haven’t felt like myself for so long
i dont know who i’ve become
in the meantime
as the world passes by
i’ve been bedridden almost for a month
caught up cabin feber gone
in the meantime
everybodys moving on

i cannot focus and now i am on my own
i am utterly alone i am left to die again
all my friends all my friends
are so dear but far away i am cooped up in my bed
dissapearing without trace
the world is caving in around my skull
making me forget that i can talk
making me forget how to reach out
making me forget that im allowed

but i can’t sleep in any longer
i can’t stay like this for life
im not sick enough but sick enough to never be alright
i am wrongly wired really tired
fighting for my right
to have a little hope that i will someday turn out fine

i haven’t felt happy for so long
i dont know where it has gone
in the meantime
i’ve been sleeping quite a lot
i’ve pretended everything was going fine
so i didn’t have to lie
if somebody asked me if ive gotten worse

i am sloppy with excuses always covering my ass
i am scared of getting help
cus what if that sh*t doesn’t last
im on meds but still depressed
and therapy it didn’t help
so im just tired of the fighting
can i ever catch a break?
i am happy for you happy for you but im so afraid
i am trying i am trying but i want this sh*t to end
i am lonely i am lonely yet avoiding all my friends
i am scared yes i am scared that i will always be in pain
i am wallowing im wallowing but god it feels so good
i am painfully aware that im not doing what i should
i am tired of it, tired of it, but i still can’t sleep
i am sorry i am sorry that i always feel like sh*t

- blood girl lyrics

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