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i'll be happy too - blood girl lyrics

i haven’t done my best but ill do it now
all these years i was too busy fighting for my life
now i feel like i am allowed to sleep
i can crawl into my bed and melt into my sheets
if im too paralysed to get up after all
i will stay in bed and scr*pbook not just lie and sulk
i will continue on
i will not hurt myself
i will stay alive i’ll make the very best of it

i know my shrink she says im not nice to myself
but i will try to act as though i am my dearest friend
i will brush my t**th and i will take my meds
i will do all of the things i couldn’t do back then
if im too sick to do what i want to do
i will make a list to make sure that im able to
i will forgive myself
for years i’ve spent in bed
and i will stay alive so i can play my songs and sing

i haven’t lost the game im just not good at it yet
and that is fine when i have all this time to be the best
i will clean my room ill do laundry too
i will even take a shower i won’t f*cking lose
if everything feels dark i will close my eyes
and i will count the moving lights and all the dancing stars
i will take a breath
i will ground myself
and i will sleep and wake up try again another day
why does it seem so abstract to be fine?
at least i am not crying all the time now
stomach please stop bubbling with rocks
churning full of fear and full of knots
but i will prove them wrong, every single dark thought
that doubted me ill prove to them that illness hasn’t won so
i dont think ill ever be like you
but ill be happy too

yeah, i will prove them wrong, every single dark thought
that doubted me ill prove to them that illness hasn’t won so
i dont think i’ll ever be like you
but i’ll be (i’ll be)
happy (happy)
too

- blood girl lyrics

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