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callused - blacksound lyrics

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too weak and too far, and just too late
too callus to care. too smart to think it’s not fake

too proud to forgive, just too lost to see
too afraid of myself
to speak with you honestly

i want to watch you lose it all

fake
i thought i saw you here
leave
guilty and it’s so clear
scared
of what you might never find
fear
all that you’ll have in time

convinced again
afraid again
let them all inside again
my thoughts a threat
to all my friends
and to myself
and to my life
i drank away another night
they’re not surprised

so what’s next?
another chance
to f*ck it up?
to make amends?
to hide again?
inside my head
i’m facing words
i never said
punishing myself
for things i never did

but i see that i
only wasted my time
so i will take your advice
and just fall on my sword

i showed you the scars
and you asked me
“why’d you do that?”
i know that i did it just to prove that
i could and i’ll do much more
i’m just counting the seconds till i can show you that it’s all been for

this
i thought i saw you here
leave
guilty and it’s so clear
scared
of what you might never find
fear
all that you’ll have in time

you don’t deserve forgiveness

i’m afraid
of the changes
i’m making
living the life that
you’ve been shaping
or is that an excuse?
am i losing to you?
am i speaking the truth?
i’ve just trying to prove

that i’m as good as you
the h*ll you put me through
that all my thoughts are true
and i refuse to kneel

convinced again
afraid again
let you inside again
my thoughts a threat
to everything
and to myself
and to my life
and if i choose
i’ll drink away another night
they’re not surprised
it’s in my blood
and in my thoughts
and in my wants
f*ck it all
i’m too far gone

you don’t deserve forgiveness
you’re right, i’m too far gone
you’re right, i am no different
i am already gone

fake
i thought i saw you here
leave
guilty and it’s so clear
scared
of what you might never find
fear
all that you’ll have in time

too weak and
too far

too callus
to care

screaming for sound
bonded by blood
nothing but ashes
nothing i’ve become…

- blacksound lyrics

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