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this isn't what i wanted - bitter excess lyrics

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i got exactly what i asked for
i really can’t complain
i look pretty, i’m smart and i’m sane
so it’s all good
i got everything i wanted
and how many people can say that, so
it’d be stupid to push it away
it would be stupid to complain
it would be stupid to listen to the voice saying

this isn’t what i wanted
this isn’t what i wanted at all
this is what i wanted
this isn’t what i wanted at all

it would be silly
to push it all away
to dye my hair and get on a train
it would be stupid
to watch the past peel away like the rain
it would be stupid to try and escape
it would be stupid to stare at my face
and try to see something inside it
that i can’t predict

but the thing is
this isn’t what i wanted
this isn’t what i wanted at all
this isn’t what i wanted
this isn’t what i wanted at all
this isn’t what i wanted
this isn’t what i wanted at all

and i couldn’t tell you why
i couldn’t tell you
i couldn’t tell you why
i don’t know what i should do
i couldn’t tell you why
i don’t think there’s a reason
i couldn’t tell you why
maybe dreams pass like the seasons

cause i know this is what i wanted
i wrote it down, and highlighted
but upon reflection i don’t think this is going to work for me
and i regret trying to maintain some consistency
instead of trying to embrace reality cause

this isn’t what i want
this isn’t what i want at all
this isn’t what i want
this isn’t what i want at all
i think i need to go

and find what is
and find what is
and find what is left

- bitter excess lyrics

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