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man of the cloth - bill wells & aidan moffat lyrics

spoken:
father, she said, have you got a minute. it was the first of november and i was still in costume. i’ve never liked fancy dress, but i’d been warned that the friend of a friends girlfriend, who was hosting this years halloween party, was planning to strictly enforce a no costume no entry rule. so i had to think of something. i found a church supply store online and ordered a genuine black clergy shirt, with white collar included, and wore it under my dark grey suit using a different explanation almost every time i was asked who, or what i was supposed to be. i truthfully told wonder woman that ministers always scared me as a child. i made a witch giggle when i claimed to be a paedophile. i bonded with barbarella as we talked about the exorcist. i thought i just wanted a chance to look good in the expensive suit i hardly ever wore, but maybe there was something more to it. a few years after i’d conquered that fear of ministers, i briefly thought i’d like to be one. i was attracted to the role of community pillar. i fancied myself a comp-ssionate confidante. to offer hope in times of trouble

i woke up in a strangers bed, but barbarella was gone. a few molted strands of blonde wig lay skirted on the mattress and pillows, but that was the only sign she’d ever been there. i didn’t remember much at first, so i checked the inside pocket of my suit(which i’d remarkably managed to fold up neatly, and hang on the back of a chair) to confirm that the condom was gone. the flat had cleared out except for the hostess and few close friends who were all still asleep among the drained bottles, makeshift ashtrays, and bowls of crumbs. it smelled of spilled punch, and burnt pumpkins, and stale f-gs, and the limp silhouettes of witches and tomcats still draped the walls. i quickly jumped in the shower, and borrowed someone’s toothbrush, then quietly snuck out the front door. i stopped for a few things at safeway’s, and i was pricing up the deals on the cider, when the girl shuffled up beside me and called me father. i tried to think fast but my head was hungover, and aching; and before i had time to make any moral -ssessment of the situation my lips were saying; “there’s always time for a cup of tea if you’d like to join me.” “as long as i can buy,” she said

- bill wells aidan moffat lyrics

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