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alcohol or comedy - bif naked lyrics

my life was comedy. quitting drinking was the easiest thing i’ve ever done. i have never looked back. i simply cannot understand why the h-ll i waited so long! unmanageable life–what an embarr-ssment! what a weakness. what an ultimate lack of self-discipline. what a loser. my parents never drank or smoked, and i put them through h-ll. my poor parents. i was such an ungrateful, disrespectful, selfish, hormonal little teenager with a mouthy att-tude and sense of humour quite unlike my sister’s. i decided i didn’t need to continue attending church with my parents. i was searching for my “individuality”. what an idiot.
i wanted attention. i wanted everyone to think i was funny. i wanted everyone to like me. i, i hated myself. i was called bug eyes. i was called fish lips. and, i was called modern dairies. the grade 9 girls hated me. they har-ssed me and beat me up. i wonder if they’re living exciting, fulfilling loving lives. i wonder if they’re happy and healthy. me and my best friend karine had every line of every eddie murphy movie down. “goonay goo goo” “you can smell it” “i’m a karate man.” “karate man bruise on inside. just don’t show othe weakness.” “banana in the tailpipe.” “babulay babulay bahaha. babulay babulay ba ha.” you name it. i wanted to be eddie murphy.
or, or robin williams. i wanted to be them. i still am enraptured with comedians. they must always be carefree and laughing and playing jokes and having fun. except for maybe richard lewis. he always says he can’t get a date. betcha he can. betcha he’s really ticklish, like me. tickled with life, tickled pink. pink laaadies. black russians. iron b-tterflies.
quitting drinking was the easiest thing i’ve ever done.
quitting my comedic dreams was hard. i can never look back on either.

- bif naked lyrics

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