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get your hair cut - bernard cribbins lyrics

[verse 1]
there we were, me and her
side by side on the sofa
just me and her doin’ fine

we had a nice little chat as we
sat on the sofa
found that her hand was in mine

i told her she was nice to know
and i held her oh*so near
then i turned the lights down low
but she shouted in my ear:

[chorus]
get your hair cut
get your hair cut
to be absolutely blunt

with your hair cut
like a coconut
you look as if your head’s on
back*to*front

[verse 2]
i met her dad. not so bad
for a bloke on assistance
hеr mum gives a shout from the hall
her aunty flo said hеllo
from a very safe distance
her granny says nothin’ at all

i removes my hat and then
i takes a step inside
i said, “it’s turned out nice again”
to which they all as one replied:

[chorus]
get your hair cut
get your hair cut
it’s an absolute disgrace

with your hair cut
like a coconut
how can we tell which end you
keep your face?

[verse 3]
there we were, me and her
side by side at the altar
when her mum starts to say

she says, “oh, dad, ain’t it sad
that we’re losin’ a daughter”
and dad answered, “hip hip hooray!”
the parson looked at me and sighed
saying, “now we are gathered here
tell me: which one is the bride?”
and the choir sang loud and clear:

[chorus]
get your hair cut
get your hair cut
and you’d better do it soon

with your hair cut
like a coconut
it’s gonna be a funny
honeymoon

[outro]
[choir]
get your hair cut
get your hair cut

[bernard cribbins (shouting)]
pack it in! stop it! pack it in! i’ve had enough of this. i’m gonna let it grow as long as i like! i’ll be single and long*haired with all them—i don’t know, but i’ll find them! there must be a place for long*haired lovely lads like me: single blokes, all with long hair all hangin’ down on the ground, with little trollies behind so it doesn’t get caught in the tram lines as you’re walkin’ along the …

- bernard cribbins lyrics

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