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star wars gangsta rap chronicles - bentframe lyrics

[darth vader]

i’m lord vader and i get respect
your planet and your life is what i expect
cape on my back, cable box on my chest
leather pants till my death, hot oil on my breath
don’t be jealous of my boots, jealous of my gloves
jealous of my belt with the blinking lights cause
i’m the dark lord with the power to diss
dismiss your feeble sk!lls like they’re bantha piss

[the emperor]

1 2 3 and to the 4
it’s the emperor coming thru the door
ready to make an entrance so back on up
i’m about to blow some planets up
yeah, you know i’m crazy
and my skin is pale and pasty
cuz i’m evil, i like it when the planets go boom
i once got busy in the death star bathroom

[stormtrooper]

ra-ta-tat-tat stormtrooper attack
a hundred laser blasts and i still can’t hit jack
galactic recession you can’t avoid
i’ll be unemployed if the death star’s destroyed

[luke skywalker]

4 and 3 and 2 and 1
and when i’m on the mic sandpeople run
cause the force is flowing, the lightsaber glowing
i drink my blue milk cuz it keeps me growing
i’m not joking, my family’s straight broken
now my uncle owen’s in the front yard smoking
a barbecue, for aunt beru
now there’s nothing left on the farm to do
sold my landspeeder and i sold my comb
and now i’m feathering my hair all alone
i’m a jedi with a license to k!ll
i think you know what time it is, it’s time to get ill

[han solo]

in my vest i’m the best smuggla
light beer chuggla, leia’s main snuggla
shakin’ loan sharks when the falcon starts
and chewie’s k!lling gundarks with them wookiee farts

[princess leia]

i’m leia all up in your face
i’m the only chick in outer space
gold bikini there is no other
i got to first base with my brother

[lando calrissian]

i’m not intergalactically known
but i wear a blue cape at home
lost the falcon, i was low on cash
don’t talk trash about my mustache
i can swindle, i’ll get crooked
i had han but vader took him
now look what we have here
i’m still balling year after year

[obi-wan kenobi]

public enemy obi-one
stormtroopers said freeze but they got none
can i make them say i never had a laser gun
but it’s the jedi tricks i’m playing on your mind son
cuz i’m old ben eating uncle ben’s
in my burlap depends, no next of kin
i’ll tell ya about the twins and try to make amends
with my old friends, obi out and i’m ghost again

[c3-po]

6 million forms of ill communication
e-chu-ta, no need for translation
odds of me complaining is 1 to 1
jabba never wears any pants for fun

[jabba the hutt] (raps in huttese)

i’m obese, i never count the calories
a freak show gallery is my reality
love them slave girls but i need some more
more people snacks for the rancor

[c3-po]

who’s the mack, is it r2-d2?
holograms every time that he sees you
always plugging into systems unprotected
is your 5 and a quarter floppy drive infected?

[yoda]

swamp water i drink and root leaf i eat
three dirty toes on my green wrinkled feet
snakes in my bed, can’t get any sleep
training’s complete can i borrow a sheet?
i wish i was 3 foot taller
i wish i was a baller
i wish i had a soft shell turtle i would call her
i wish i had a snake in a hat not a womprat with a tydirium impala

yeah boy
star wars fans never die
they just multiply
word to your mother
rest i need, rest
forever sleep

[outro]

star wars, star wars, star wars
star wars, star wars, star wars
star wars, star wars, star wars
star wars, star wars, star wars
star wars

- bentframe lyrics

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