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hagiography - bendrak blue lyrics

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[verse 1: bendrak blue]

to introduce myself, a sentient being like any man out there
bad is how i mostly felt, since a kid i looked for something that could hurt
blessings vanished fast cause i never believed in heavens or h*lls after death
i continued to thirst facts, christians said all i’ll ever quench is cursed
and worse, i gave up my parents’ dream to pursue a career in rap
where am from no rapper’s been sustained by this profession, instead
we work in less decent jobs, capitalizing on our depressed realm
for the benefit of our failures, cause the industry in my land doesn’t cash
googled the top ten greatest mcs of all time
my content is deep, can never be proven wrong as i use my ink to make the song right
this is my limitless creativity starred by a broad mind
art in talent, mine’s enlightened like buddha formed skies
concluded they all blind, never seeking the state of tranquility
pure excellence from reasoning for this universe in simplicity
we all brothers uniquely leading with kinging siblings
secretly believed in being cause the peace we seek is evil
[verse 2: bendrak blue]

in pre school on a rainy day, i was outside when i heard a voice from the clouds
i was some’ like four/five by age, asked a mate amongst the crowd
if she heard what the man said, she was like, “whatchu talking bout?”
didn’t get what the man said, was shocked am the only one who had heard the sound
years passed, couldn’t question my granddad about this unbelievable experience
cause he was christian, he’d have just prayed for me to god for deliverance
he’d pray for my aching head, depicting generous benevolence
so i thought he couldn’t help solve this mystery, which isn’t even average
until he died, the head of the house, educated pastor who travelled overseas
widening his conscience through philosophy, the exegesis he could only interpret
a decade after, i noticed he got sick when i started smoking weed
even though he wasn’t aware, how coincidental that is

[refrain: bendrak blue]

i remember crying, and blaming god for taking away such a precious soul
was in the bathroom when i told him to bring him back or else he’s no longer god to me anymore

[verse 3: bendrak blue]

i recall the day he was buried, i couldn’t believe that soul was actually resting
memories were fading, last picture in my mind was his face in a casket
though i learned different aspects from his, to me, he’s a legend
maybe a living one, cause what happened
next, i could hear his voice instructing me
advising me, insisted at most on what destruction is
to all the things i’ve turned to now, it’s sad he had told me how the reward is reached
and how our joys could be filled with lovely meals
four years after his death, one night i had a dream
in a higher frequency, the voice i heard from clouds when i was a kid
speaking in my sleep, told me something deep to dig
those words are the treasure in my safe am willing to keep
for now rest in power for happily ever afters
honestly, my life became an essay that’s pretty messed up like a cute face with black spots
my story was composed worse than the worst part
hatred spiralled more than i had love
my heart gave value to everything i had to put it on
then my pride came after the fall
i leave them with the songs to trace my plain when am gone
so i reincarnate a writer for ghosts and reborn greater than goats
victory before a fall in a slippery ground of achievements
you land in water even if you survive in both like amphibians
am caught up in smoke, but lie to mom and say i’ve quitted
frankly, i like it’s flow, but it’s cons adapted my flaws to what’s different
[verse 4: bendrak blue]

now am different from anyone else in terms of perception
am limitless to the extent that am chaining extensions
the planned destiny guides me despite the bad habits
against it’s will, pressure from fate is still exerted
so it’s either you find your purpose or lose yourself on the surface
my speech is breathless, i’ve been dying to give out a message
my philosophy isn’t academic, rather peripatetic
there’s clarified metaphysics in vibrations that fed me
they fed me principles that travelled from memory to my reasoning powers
the god within us is a divine source in all speaking louder
worldly deception, one running away from quarrels is considered a coward
i mean it more than sixty hours
twenty twenty, i found love around april, we dated on the first of may
t’was a friday eyy, and four months later, her birthday came
heart locker* on her phone i was named, first track titled the same
i dedicated it to her, was the first to send her a gift and it still lives up to this day

[refrain: bendrak blue]

december twenty, on that very same year
unprotected intercourse greatly led to how i had to impregnate her

[verse 5: bendrak blue]
six september, nine months later, my first born child landed in this fake world
only thing real was love for the two, prioritizing, they came first
i had no money to sustain my boy, opportunities to make some never came fair
my worth weighed less, i appreciate the family that got him raised well
before he was born, i had made plans to drive myself out of poverty
possessing too little is better than unsatisfactory, ego craves desires poorly
minding my business doesn’t mean am starting a company
am dreaming of a family free from these earthly sufferings
cyber attacks in a computerized cyborg world, safe is crypto quarantine
invested in cfds, futures and indices underneath
just leaving a legacy, there’s nothing i actually wanna be
paved my path, made my way regardless of what others feel
am not ashamed anymore, askis ntwana
i’ve opened my fiery energy center located in the stomach
my biggest disappointments in life are already uncovered
realization of the unreality overcame my fears which blocked my chakras

[verse 6: bendrak blue]

i tripped and felt the force of my adversary’s charge
i’ve learnt not to be unhappy before the crisis comes
that’s the art of staying calm above the stars
truth has its own definite boundaries, and that’s a fact to trust
we suffer more in imagination than reality
the quality of life means more than it’s quantity, so ung*ythiyampisi
my responsibility is to stay alert in every degree of awareness cause
am engaged to justice, and i got a parliamentary discussion of equalities
i take my pencil as i draw death near
unexpected signs of decay in my body seem to appear
it got crystal clear am losing purpose without overcoming my fears
succumbing to resilience from the deep shadows under my eyes shedding experience
the mind is a weapon that exploits thoughts before an action
when you have relearned all these patterns
that are too arranged to be coincidences of our magical perception
you arise the universal frequency of wisdom to emerge with your natural intention

[outro: bendrak blue]

haven’t even started rapping, but the beat has already ended, eh sani
like life’s lessons, his verses are endless, they call him bendrak
yes ayri

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