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jewish lobster (old version) - ben visini lyrics

[lyrics stolen from ben visini’s bandcamp with additional words before the song]

pre*song
wow, i’ve been doing a song a week for about a month now
it’s insane, i never thought i’d be able to commit to something like this
you know what
i want to challenge myself
the next song i do, i’m gonna use the stupidest idea i have in my book
i can’t be that bad right*
sh*t
i guess i could kind of see, like, how this could work
but only like an idiot, with nothing to lose would even consider writing a song about*

verse 1
ever since i was a little crustacean
i’ve had a different set of views
no explanation
all alone in this deep blue
who would’ve thought that someone so nautical
could end up bеing so theological
this song is in b
’cause it’s under thе c

chorus 1
life is pretty sick
living as a jewish lobster
i’ve got a yarmulke i made out of a clam
i don’t eat ham
i don’t know what ham is
i live underwater
don’t mean to sound overzealous
i’m just one proud hebrew sh*llfish
my existence is ironic
and i love it
verse 2
see?
i’m not that different from you jewmans at all
i’ve got a tallit wrapped around my sh*ll
i’m also hundreds of feet tall
i’m a kaiju as well (roar)
and when i finally have my bar mitzvah
i’ll invite king kong, and mothra, and godzilla
and clifford the big red dog, i hope that he can
celebrate me becoming a man
i mean, lobster

chorus 2
it’s a life
living as a kai*jewish lobster
i think i might take a trip into the town
accidentally tearing buildings down
oh, sorry, oh cr*p, i’m
just looking for the rabbi
not a good first impression
i just had a couple of questions
he’ll understand them
they’re about the ten clawmandments
(eh? eh? get it, it’s like commandment but with claw*)

bridge
oy vey, i just wanna be
with those who are like me
who can see that all i really need
chorus 3
oh, is to be accepted
as a kai*jewish lobster
i’ve got a yarmulke i made out of a clam (giant clam!)
i don’t eat ham
i don’t know what ham is
i live underwater
and if right now you’re assumin’
i’m not a lobster ’cause i look like a human
that’s because
i* i have no budget

- ben visini lyrics

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