jew haikus - ben visini lyrics
[lyrics stolen from ben visini’s bandcamp]
lemme walk you through
how to do a jew haiku
show you how it’s done
it is a haiku
but about being jewish
that’s * pretty much it
let’s get it started
like the red sea i part it
never halfhearted
spitting out fire
now i got a burning bush
and i don’t mean kush
the 10 commandments
gonna bust ’em out right now
god made you free * nice
no god but this one
never use the name in vain
sabbath is holy
honor mom and dad
k!lling is a big no*no
no adultery
you can never steal
do not be a false witness
don’t f*ck your neighbor
so much in common
the torah is a manga
goes from right to left
haikus and the jews
fit just like bagels and lox
like guilt and…more guilt
gefilte fishing
for some of these lines to work
some can get tilted
if i were a rich
man, na na na na na na
na na na batman!
yes i am aware
that one was lazy as h*ll
i needed one more
bar mitzvah story
i was 13 and a man
with one facial hair
synagogue showdown
show the other kids in class
that i came prepared
i cannot read this
i could use a little help
where are the vowels?
a minor foul
suddenly remembering
what i need to say
it’s the haftarah
barach atta ad*oh sh*t
that was the wrong prayer
skip to the party
got to drink a little wine
thank you abraham
got raised in the chair
i am not afraid of heights
wait, no * yes i am
thinking of bubbe
she wants to give me a hug
she reeks of perfume
old people saying
“i’m so proud of what you’ve done!”
i do not know you
this is so awkward
they give me an envelope
it’s a fat check * oooo
that’s enough stories
time to do what i do best
and that is s*x jokes
forget the goy boys
i could be your best boy toy
synagogue’d and gagged
i could be gentile
but i’m not a gentile
making you smile
it’s rosh hashanah
and i wanna get on ya
happy new jew year
if you wanna go
we’ll be f*cking for six days
rest on the seventh
want some mood music?
i’ll blast hava nagila
when i feel ya
harder than matzoh
lots of things that i just said
make me wanna stop
Random Song Lyrics :
- spacesex - kakora lyrics
- les matins d'hiver - les enfoirés lyrics
- i ain't no one bitch - leoinimitablepaz lyrics
- makishima - tig lyrics
- lesbiana - jamsha lyrics
- nous nus - christophe willem lyrics
- bombaclot - carl edouard & merty shango lyrics
- 50 bodies - termanology lyrics
- be with or without - kodie shane lyrics
- 32stel vs. kenta (vbt 2011) - 3plusss lyrics