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song about love and all that shit - ben (us) lyrics

[verse 1]
been sober for 13 years
1 of them realized i was queer
so i kissed a guy, but then i didn’t love him
then, remember this girl, one i could truly feel
when i saw you, you were the headlights, i was deer
now, crushing on each other for awhile
to get to you have to walk a 100 miles
but i kept a smile
‘fore i went to see had a couple sips
my head lighter than stick
then your friends were there
i acted like i didn’t care
but it’s hard for me to love with others watching
every step with nervousness, caution
sweating in my t of cotton
then we was at the creek
you said “only kiss me on the cheek”
you were just as scared as i was
my insides bleeding give me gauze
but it was all fake
how you looked and me
and how you hit me up the second i wake
but there was something i couldn’t see
and it only grew dimmer
as sun pushed through the clouds
and my skin would shimmer
it was lost in the crowds
’til the wall fell down
crashing down to never again be found again
it was a lie
not true connection
just a way to make her happy for a week
now i feel weak it went to nothing

[verse 2]
try to pick it up like i’m 52
disappearing’s what you do
but every time i try to forget, you’re still there
try to drink away, but i still think of that stare
the one you gave me ‘fore we kissed
all i do is reminisce
cause it’s not often i feel things
playing grandpa’s guitar, like me it’s got dusty stringsi
i burned my wings
and i f*cking hate everything i hear
the dread cut me up, it’s shear
glasses not remotely clear
all in my head, overthinking conversations we had
why you never just up front
why won’t you tell me what you want
i can do it
at least i thought i could
maybe i’ll see you again
in a decade or two
maybe then i’ll be with you
right person, wrong time? who knows
i’m starting to close
running out of business
had e*f*cking*nough of forgiveness
man, f*ck this
had enough of forgiveness, man f*ck this

[chorus]
it was all nothing
it was all nothing
i never wanted this
i thought we could be something
now i’m chugging bottles
i’m an emo rave kid at the core
now getting up just feels like a chore
wish i could be back in the better days
all day everyday, in a haze
laughing ’bout stupid jokes
hiding from your folks
was the love a hoax
was i really one you cared for the most
it was all nothing
it was all nothing
i never wanted this
i thought we could be something
now i’m chugging bottles
i’m an emo rave kid at the core
now getting up just feels like a chore
wish i could be back in the better days
all day everyday, in a haze
laughing ’bout stupid jokes
hiding from your folks
was the love a hoax
was i really one you cared for the most

- ben us lyrics

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