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fucking hell - ben (us) lyrics

[verse 1]
i love what i can’t see
voice sound like a banshee
feeding off darkness
thoughts we harvest
deep in the forest, that’s where you find me
outkast like 3 stacks
now they call me a big boy
was it all a ploy
my days have no end or start
the picture falls apart
keep on mocking me
you’re one with me
my mind’s boxed in
i’m drowning in my toxins
is this a dream or a nightmare
right now, i caught despair
the answer’s right there
oops i missed it, no more glisten
talk, talk, talk, but i don’t even listen
constant ringing in my soul
cut in half but you’ll never have me back whole

[chorus]
and i made myself a joke
so i really don’t need to talk
don’t wanna be myself today
they speak to me no idea what to say
no idea what to say
no idea what to say

[bridge]
i told you i ain’t ready to put my foot on the gas
i told you i ain’t ready to break through the glass
told you i ain’t ready to care for another
can’t even care for me
crawl out the dead sea
distant when things are right
went to h*ll, was alright
controlled by fear, i down a sh*tty beer

[verse 2]
d*mn i’m back to square one
never met the fair one
don’t know what to do so i just run and run
swear my eyes been in a drought
since i seen my grandma on her last bed
and i only feel doubt
when they tell me it’s all in my head
see in third person, self aware of all i do
and it only worsens
it’s an eternal fight
i lost all my bite
another tail of failure
on my mind put a silencer
crying out “gonna live forever”
f*cking h*ll, takes more than that to end me
benadryl and bailey’s
but i’m still the same
conflicted b*tch from boredomville
am i still sane? who cares, i guess it’s chill

[chorus]
and i made myself a joke
so i really don’t need to talk
don’t wanna be myself today
they speak to me no idea what to say
no idea what to say
no idea what to say
no idea what to say
no idea what to say

- ben us lyrics

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