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self-sabotage (original version) - behan the scene lyrics

[chorus]
when i self*sabotage, actin’ up
i always tell myself that’s enough
i’ve had my run, yeah, i’ve had my run
but it’s because of the lack thereof
when i self*sabotage, actin’ up
i always tell myself that’s enough
i’ve had my run, yeah, i’ve had my run
but it’s because of the lack thereof

[verse 1]
in other’s minds, i strike ’em as one to bide
my time, when i’ve been only tryin’ to get by
like why the stone face
and how come thеy won’t look in my eyes?
all in my head; oughta bе a gorgon
distraught, to think, no resp*wns
was taught that not everything’s set in stone, just stone cold
once thought that adhesive’s convenient, it don’t hold
my appetite for bread is unsaid, it’s grown mold
waitin’ for john quiñones, on a show set, to be trolled
i’m relyin’ on a spinnin’ top for when it stops
as bold as i am, i would wish it’d not, no need for props
this simulation ain’t as broken as we hoped it would be
think we know best, but just owe rent, good grief
i poke at, i can’t go back, could cheat
where’s the code at? like a floor mat, beats me
i roam so zoned, i own up to my actions, preexpose
impose my will to seek a thrill
i’m on a loading screen i’ll show progress when i please
does this even suit me
am i tailored, do they have to groom me or shoo me?
thought that it’d be more roomy
i’m not even a shoe*in
sorta pigeonholed
forget all that you think you know
and not every gift is put in a bow
are you gon’ p*ss and moan, sit at home
sit in silence? these conditions grow
been a gnome and things don’t come to fruition
and that took some admittin’
for a wicked soul
i’m unsure, in the end, where i’m finna go (finna go, finna go)
[chorus]
when i self*sabotage, actin’ up
i always tell myself that’s enough
i’ve had my run, yeah, i’ve had my run
but it’s because of the lack thereof
when i self*sabotage, actin’ up (actin’ up)
i always tell myself that’s enough (that’s enough)
i’ve had my run, yeah, i’ve had my run (had my run)
but it’s because of the lack thereof (lack thereof)

[verse 2]
still don’t remember how i got here, or why
i lie awake and think, awareness shrinks, the link then expires
i’m fine with cold shakes
i can do without batting an eye
walk in a room, forget why i arrived
might have to take it outside, ba*dum tiss
got a parasite that ain’t payin’ rent, but it’ll give its two cents
while i been makin’ ends meet, they’ve been makin’ amends
i can’t tell if it’s just me, i’m startin’ to see a trend, it’s time that i bend the knee
this was an inside job, a mole was digging for dirt
not a big crime boss, but squash the crickets that chirp
a landlord been evictin’, i don’ put y’all on notice
yet, i still feel like a tenant ’cause i know i want to own this
when you’ve been cooped up, it’s hard to do stuff
like a recovering addict (ayy)
is this all canon, it feels outlandish, oh, well, it must be the admin (ayy)
save me the sufferin’, hate to see bufferin’, faithfully, i’ma be glad when
i become a flash in the pan (the pan, the pan)
[outro]
sabotaged, sabotaged
sabotaged, sabotaged
sabotage, sabotage
sabotage, sabotage

- behan the scene lyrics

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