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when velma takes the stand - bebe neuwirth lyrics

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[velma, spoken]
billy, i been thinkin’ a lot about my trial. couldn’t i just
show you what i thought i might do on the witness stand?

[billy, spoken]
go ahead

[velma, spoken]
good! hit it!
well then, when i got on the stand i thought i’d take a peek
at the jury. then i’d cross my legs like this, you know

[quartette]
when velma takes the stand

[velma, spoken]
then, when harrison cross*examines me, i thought i’d give ’em
this…and then if he yells at me i thought i’d tremble like
this…”ooh, no, please stop!”

[quartette]
when velma takes the stand
look at little vel
see her give ’em h*ll
when she turns it on
ain’t she doin’ grand?
she’s got ’em eating out of the palm of her hand!

[velma, spoken]
then, i thought i’d let it all be too much for me, like real
dramatic. then, i thought i’d get thirsty and say, “please
someone, could i have a glass of water?”

[quartette]
when velma takes the stand
see that kelly girl
make that jury whirl
when she turns it on
she’s gonna get ’em goin’
’till she’s got ’em gone

[velma, spoken]
ah! ah! ah! then, i thought i’d cry. buckets. only i don’t
have a handkerchief * that’s when i have to ask you for yours!
i really like that part. don’t you? then, i get up and try to
walk; oh, but i’m too weak, and i slump and i slump and i
slump and i slump until finally, i faint!

[quartette]
when she rolls her eyes
watch her take the prize
when velma takes the stand!
when velma takes the stand!

- bebe neuwirth lyrics

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