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calvin harris ft. rihanna - "this is what you came for" parody - bartbaker lyrics

[rihanna]
this song
was written ’bout taylor
before
calvin got dumped poor dude
back when he was in love with her
and she was in love
too
it seemed too good to be true
they were such a cute
couple but then pretty soon
taylor started to do
what she always starts to do
act all cuckoo
she said

[taylor]
where the h-ll have you been?
[calvin]
working
on a new song for you

[taylor]
bullsh-t, what’s it called then calvin?

[calvin]
it’s called “this is what you came for”
and it’s all about
you

[taylor]
i do not believe you

[calvin]
baby i swear it’s true

[taylor]
then explain this picture dude

[calvin]
she is singing the tune

[taylor]
now i know what i’ve gotta do
watch every move

[rihanna]
taylor proceeded to
never let him out view
her eyes were always glued
to everything he would do
but he still loved her true

[calvin]
i love how you stare at me boo

[taylor]
i don’t trust you!

[rihanna]
one day
when taylor’s eyes were shut
calvin
snuck to a m-ssage spot
that was known for giving handjobs
and photographers
caught him leaving the shop
taylor saw the news and thought

[taylor]
he’ll pay for that handjob
once he releases his song
about me i’ll cheat on
him and dump his -ss for tom
hiddleston

[rihanna]
and so
taylor played along for
five months
until his song came out

[taylor]
it’s time!

[calvin]
baby, our song is a huge hit
i put
my soul in it for you

[taylor]
that’s great but calvin dear guess what?
i’ve been cheating on
you with tom hiddleston

[calvin]
the bad guy from thor wait what?
i thought we had true love

[taylor]
that’s before your rub and tub

[calvin]
it was only a rub

[taylor]
bullsh-t, now it is time i must
finish you off

- bartbaker lyrics

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