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pillowtalk (parody) - bart baker lyrics

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[verse 1: zayn]
i am free!
i’m free from one direction
free to make
songs about my erection

[pre-chorus 1: zayn, niall & harry]
i dyed my hair blonde and i’m wearing leather
i do what i want unlike back when
one direction was still together
i just don’t give a f-ck, see i did not shave
i look like i might be stoned too
did you notice i cussed? this is the new zayn
we’ve got to stop him! yes, we do!

[chorus 1: zayn, niall, harry, louis & (liam)]
i made a song about s-x!
and the vid’s getting more views
than most 1d vids do
what’s up with these effects?
whoever’s editing this is on something
is that a bouquet? (and what’s with your spike face?)
why don’t you have clothes on?
whoever made this is a moron
(i just can’t believe zayn made a s-x song!)

[verse 2: zayn]
i’m adult
and now that i have proved it
if i want
to do something i’ll do it

[pre-chorus 2: zayn, niall, harry & (liam)]
i’ll stay up all night watching the tv
it’s past 1am! who’s that hot chick?
(he’s watching an r-rated movie!)
now that i’m an adult i’m going to vape
i even got a face tattoo

[chorus 2: niall, harry, louis]
i can’t believe zayn did this!
he was from a pop boy band
now he acts like a grown man
and he’s got a huge hit
i guess it can pay off to be an adult
maybe we should grow up, do all that grown up stuff
i say yes, what the heck?
just wait til zayn sees what 1d do next
(maybe we all could even try having s-x!)

[verse 3: one direction]
we’re 4 boys being bad
gonna stay up late, gonna play grab -ss
we got guns, drugs and face tats
we’re grown up, being bad!

[skit: zayn, niall, harry]
i don’t understand. why isn’t our video blowing up like zayn’s?
everybody hates it! we’re losing all our fans!
wow! you guys are real f-cking idiots!
oh, and by the way, this isn’t even a real tattoo
1d? more like dumb-d!

[outro: one direction]
we’re grown up, being bad!

- bart baker lyrics

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