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i knew you were trouble parody - bart baker lyrics

[taylor:]
once upon a time, before i was insane.
i dated this disney guy, joe jonas was his name.
but he broke up with me,
[joe:]
you’re just way too creepy, plus i found someone else, his name’s mickey. (ho ho)
[taylor:]
so, i wrote a song about his stupid -ss.
then, found this guy named john,
but that was over fast.
if you don’t marry me, i will pull out your teeth!
[john:]
you’re totally crazy.
[taylor:]
no!
[john:]
yes!
[taylor:]
no!
[john:]
yes!
[taylor:]
maybe…
he hit me with his guitar, and he said that “we are through.”
just you wait, until i write a song about you!
then, i met that jake gyllenhal d-ck,
and was obsessed right away!
[jake:]
you’ve sent me 1,000 messages!
and that’s just from today!!
[taylor:]
oh, that’s because i’m having your baby!
[jake:]
what?! but, you don’t even put out
[taylor:]
stop questioning me, jakey,
or i’ll punch you 6 feet underground!!!!!!
[jake:]
whoa! whoa!
psycho, psycho, psycho!
[taylor:]
fine, go! it’s good material
next came kennedy, i think he was fifteen.
i bought the house next door,
to watch you constantly, and also to make sure.. you never ever cheat!
[connor:]
omg! we are done, you are scary!
[taylor:]
harry was my last, that one direction freak.
i taped him to my wall, so he could never leave.
[harry:]
someone call the police!
you’re insane we are through!
[taylor:]
you’re just like all the rest!
what did i do to you?!
so i used, my stalker app.
to track down, all of those pr-cks.
the next song i write i’ll use, their blood as my ink! hey!
[jake:]
holy cr-p, that nut job just bursted in!
[ex-boyfriends:]
ahh!
[taylor:]
what the h-ll is this?
[ex-boyfriends:]
it’s a support group for all the men.
you wrote songs about, you b-tch!
[taylor:]
what? i have not written about harry yet.
[harry:]
i am just planning ahead.
[john:]
why are you even here anyway?
[taylor:]
to finish you all off with my pen!
[ex-boyfriends:]
no, no, devil, devil, devil.
[taylor:]
oh, oh, it’s true, i’m the devil!
[doctor:]
ok! that’s enough.
you were right, she’s nuts.
you are coming with us.
[taylor:]
wait, what?
get off of me, i’m not crazy!!
ah!
[ex-boyfriends:]
it worked!
this was all a trick, we knew you would come.
so, we hired this doctor.
[doctor:]
you’re going to an insane asylum,
based on the behavior i observed.
[taylor:]
oh, oh, let me go, you -ssholes!
[-ssholes:]
no! no!
[doctor:]
welcome to your new home.
[mickey:]
haha, so you’re crazy too, huh?

- bart baker lyrics

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