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boyfriend parody - bart baker lyrics

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if i was a black man you would be my hoe
or maybe an asian so we can eat egg rolls
i can be a mexican and dress like a cholo
but i’m just a white canadian that looks like a lesbo

saying swag is cool
now i’ll make a wish on these magic golden shoes
a gypsy sold them to me said they make wishes come true
say h-llo to a negro in 3, 2 d-mn

i want to be everything i’m not
that’s why i say swag a lot

i wish i was a black man
so these big shoes would fit
or maybe an asian to explain my baby d&ck
i can be a mexican, selina told me so
but i’m just a white canadian that looks like a lesbo
and it really blows

hey what’s going on guys, can i hang with you?
being a minority that’s all i wanna do
i like to say swag, i heard you guys do too.

why the f&ck your whispering
get the h-ll out of her dude

justin! justin! i need to talk to justin!

what’s the deal doc, i was hangin’ with my new friends.

i ran some tests, it turns out that your a girl man.

but i’m with selina, does that make me a lesbian?

exactly.

that explains why i can’t find my c&ck!
it was just small i thought.

turns out i’m your girlfriend.
because i’m not a bro.
that’s why we never had s-x.
i got nothing below.
i’m actually a lesbian.
the doctor told me so.

so if you wanna scissor, girl just let me know.
i’ll scissor you for sure.

now that i know that i am really a girl, don’t wanna be a different race no more just a lesbian.

wait! i need to come clean. there’s something about me that you don’t know.

i am not a lady, i didn’t wanna say.
they would of kicked me off of wizards of waverly

if your actually a man, does that mean i’m straight?
this is so d-mn confusing.
i thought that i was gay.
can we scissor any way.

okay.

- bart baker lyrics

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