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an account of the day i encountered the dead three - bard college of citrus lyrics

come a little closer, friend, for the story i weave
of a trip i took to baldur’s gate that i still can’t believe
before you think i’m cracking wise or making jokes for free
from within my head, here’s how i fled the will of the dead three

as i passed the rusted palisade and braced myself for more
a stranger who bore ill intent approached from shadowed door
in one hand was a dagger that shone a toxic green
from the poison that had coated it with such a caustic sheen
on his lapel, a symbol that did fill me up with dread:
a circlе wreathed in flame around a grinning skull*likе head
before he could ask for money, i said “what a fancy brooch!”
and with a smile, he stretched forward a hand and said “approach.”
compelled by this strange order, i was forced to follow suit
he led me to a cellar twisting under road and root
within the torchlit tunnels, we found a crypt most stale
the bones of those who came before me, glistening cold and pale
a turn prevailed, and i was greeted by a grisly sight:
a triad of tall statues seemed to block out any light
it took a barest minute to discern my current state
for it seemed they had a hunger that they wanted me to sate

oh if you’ve heard the rumors, you can take it all from me:
it’s true there’s things in motion in the depths of the city
steer clear of baldur’s gate now if you dread conspiracy
and you can dodge a meeting with those known as the dead three
the situation dire, oh i wished to turn and run
but this assassin marching with me whispered “that’s no fun.”
another burst of magic came from under his long cloak
and all my muscles seized up as my full momentum broke
i pushed into the room, my limbs not acting as my own
when suddenly my brain became a public access zone
and within the shadows cast by all the statuary grim
three voices not my own rolled up and filled me to the brim
the first voice spoke, “i am the god of terror known as bane.”
the second, “i am bhaal, and i’ve assassins in my fane.”
the third, “they call me myrkul, death itself is my domain.”
but on hearing these, i filled with doubt and mirth i can’t contain!
“well aren’t you a merry trio, hiding in the muck!
do you prefer the squalor? or perhaps you all are stuck?”
i yelled back towards assassin, saying “parlor tricks won’t sway
and if you wish to best this bard, then you won’t get your way!”

oh if you’ve heard the rumors, you can take it all from me:
it’s true there’s things in motion in the depths of the city
steer clear of baldur’s gate if you dread conspiracy
and you can dodge a meeting with those known as the dead three

i heard the snap of bone under a sudden burst of speed
and in that sudden moment, my paralysis was freed
the rapier at my side, it leapt into my waiting hand
i spun to catch my quarry’s blade with mine to make a stand
“when next you imitate a godlike voice in someone’s head
perhaps go for a bassy tone and more loftiness instead!”
his face revealed surprise, and his response, it chilled me cold:
“you heard their voices? oh please say what you were told.”

[instrumental break]

now yes, to you, dear listener, i’ll admit when i am scared
and with this revelation and the truths that it had bared
i cast a baleful shatter within the statue’s midst
and as my foe’s attention turned, myself i did dismiss
“you’ll pay for this defacement,” came the voices once again
“the stench and squalor shall be yours, your form a tiny stain!”
i asked while in retreat, “do you not seek to end me here?”
“you’ll end in time, oh little pain, but first you must know fear.”

and to this day, i’m haunted by those voices that i’ve heard
they haven’t spoken yet to me, no not a single word
but it’s enough to make me warn those traveling to wait:
for the dead three’s will, it lingers still and lurks in baldur’s gate!

- bard college of citrus lyrics

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