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nice - barbara anselmi, brian hargrove, harriet harris, tyne daly lyrics

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[judy]
i hate nice
nice is wrong
its pretending you’re weak when you’re strong
cause you’re walking on eggsh-lls
god help me i’m no good at faking sincere
to be nice

thank you for the rehearsal dinner last night, georgette
the food was delicious

[georgette]
the hampshire club does do a good job don’t they?
i think their secret is that they put bacon in practically everything

[judy]
rebecca’s uncle morty keeps kosher
he doesn’t eat pork

[georgette]
not even bacon?

[judy]
i hate nice
nice is lies
its befriending a b-tch you despise when you just wanna punch her
mom please don’t make a scene
careful not to say what you mean
this is nice

[georgette (spoken)]
well i won’t tell him if you don’t
haha look at us keeping secrets together
we’re practically family already haha

it comes as no surprise to me
after all i was a member of the first sorority at radcliff
to allow people of the jewish persuasion
i’ll never forget that little hebrew girl, miriam
miriam, we were great friends
miriam…something steen, stein
which is it?
i really wish you people would make up your mind on that one

[judy]
do something, judy
put her in her place to prove to them, judy
you’ve got style and grace
smile then thrust and perry
don’t appear contrary
kiss and embrace
that’s not what you call nice
its baloney
the nice you know is real not phony
to you, nice is a sweater, a nice boy, nice kippered hearing
if you don’t speak up soon you could start swearing

it’s stein, with an i

[georgette]
now we know
isn’t this fun

[judy]
i can’t remember having so much fun

[georgette]
me either
fun fun fun
what a good idea

[judy]
thank you
you were right about elsie
its amazing what she can do with such thinning hair

i like nice
nice is sweet
its suspending your ethics to beat fancy pants at her own game
oh boy am i forclempt its better than i ever dreamt
playing nice

[georgette]
oh please, you’re just saying that

[judy]
but its true
its like your whole face has been lifted

here’s to nice
nice is grand
its extending a welcoming hand
while you smack with the other
just make the slightest change
mentally rearrange
what you once thought was of ice
is now nice

- barbara anselmi brian hargrove harriet harris tyne daly lyrics

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