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maxwell dorian, valedictorian - barats and bereta lyrics

[verse]
maxwell dorian, valedictorian
i speak in three weeks to the entire auditorium
heavy cords but i bear ’em, medals chafe but i wear ’em
six steps to academic success, now let me share ’em:
first period, calculus, easy as pi
but suckas real as i, they try to spy my -ssignment
they’d like to derive what’s inside of my head
that’s where i make math my mistress, denominate her in bed
kant keep up with me once philosophy starts
so smart i pick sartre apart, discredit descartes
i think therefore i am at the top of my cl-ss
why am i here? let me think, to kick -ss
a thorough understanding of th0r-au, third period
a myriad of weary eyes read the (ira) iliad
but not me i’m a.p. that text is too tame
they’re striking out with homer, i’m re-joyce-in’ in james
p.e.’s not exactly for me, but i don’t care
i’ll get my “a” anyway, in band i’m first chair
pianissimo, fortissimo, i gotta be heard
yeah i never miss a coda, never miss a coda, word!
sixth period, history, top of my game
i’m like napoleon but tall, without a russian campaign
i didn’t study for the final i’m a downright historian
….maxwell dorian, saludatorian

- barats and bereta lyrics

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