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absolute terror - ballista lyrics

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how many times do i have to try?
how many times have i failed?
to prove i deserve my place in life to myself and everyone else
suffering is the solace i found
my pain has kept me spellbound
but death won’t take me
god can’t erase me
and you won’t break me down

you won’t
bend or break me

absolute terror
my ultimate fear
exposing my weakness
to those i hold dear

six million ways to die, choose one
swarming inside my head
cloaked in torment, blinded by death
kissing the scars i kept
how am i supposed to feel human?
how am i supposed to relate?
when i can’t even look you in the eyes
walls i built obscure your face
the angel of death
goddess of unhappiness

can’t scratch the phantom itch
can’t run from life the b*tch
do i deserve your love?
am i even good enough?

absolute terror
my ultimate fear

- ballista lyrics

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