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an open letter - ayomiro. lyrics

intro:
60 lines of open, brutal honesty
no hook. no bars. just honesty

verse 1:
i keep erasing the first lines of this tirade
because exposing myself is something i hate
however, if i ever want to migrate
from cl!ckbait to great, i’ve got to keep my lines straight
even when i’m not, let me wait, pause
can’t stop from spilling open, like a fake gauze
growing up, my momma said to grow claws
since the world uses jedi mind tricks, like vince paz
take a bite of the burger while i eat alone
feel the warmth of the wind in my november home
used to lack the hunger for numbers, but now, i’m picking bones
if it matters how you gather, my soul is silicone
i’ve got five different albums out the wazoo
but i’m still sorting through what knocks and what’s not cool
i still feel like an outsider in my own school
i’m trying my best, but i’m drowning in my own pool
i’ve been with my girlfriend for more than a month
but i see it as forty days without f-ckin’ up
always afraid of the date when i’m sh-t out of luck
far too used to my view that she loses her blush
i just messaged her, heart tatted on my trunk
struggle suffered ‘tween what i have and what i want
chasing fire like lauv, but wanna bounce like bas
since i want us to work, i put l-st on a pause
certain aspects of my psyche make it hard to marry..
since i’ve been snapping at siblings, sh-t is kinda scary
i’m either in cl-ss, on the couch, or in the library
and i’m still scared i’ll be a dropout by january
toiling at a major that will leave my neck locked in twine
every day, i spin the knife, thinking ’bout suicide
less and less, i let the stress reduce my time
since adolesce, i’m never s-x’d or sipped on wine
think of myself all the time just like a slytherin
narcissistic sentiment, i’ve been investin’ in
i keep thinking ’bout going out, maybe making friends
or risk dying alone, meeting a bitter end
my parents hardly trust me, and i don’t trust myself
how do you trust a man who battles his mental health?
swimming in my feelings, feel like michael phelps
with all the sinnin’ i deal in, i bet i’ll burn in h-ll
been writing testaments of toil, never skipped a page
with the script of a scholar, and the wits of a sage
call me maya angelou, i’m singing in my cage
use resources to explore the forces in my veins
momma claim that i’m just as hopeless as atheists
since my music is similar to pete davidson’s
style of comedy, take the p-ss out of sobbing scenes
and turn them into content that is worthy of constant streams
call me a drama queen, at least call me consistent
nineteen years, i’m still living shiftless
all my cousins stay about their business, they’re driven
while i’m trying to live life in my perfectionist prison
but i’m restless, too stressed with putting thoughts on beat
not everyone appreciates when stuff’s put out for free
that’s why i stopped caring about what others think
i’m not doing it for them, i’m doing this for me

- ayomiro lyrics

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