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the ghost of jeremy wolkov - awol (nerd) lyrics

[verse 1]
here to give a few bars to my bro, jwab
to those that knew him, he was a god
he’s got more ink of his face than george wash
all across his friends’ skins, since he was lost
now his ashes sit in a box with his name embossed
but that can’t hold his spirit, he can’t be contained
jeremy was like a tux, splattered in paint
he would get attention every single place that he’d go
but it just for the laughs, it wasn’t for a show
when we were together, we were always rappin’
loud, offbeat like pac in the grand canyon
‘02, mimi’s cafe, customer’s b*tchin’
trying to smoke together out back, while others were snitchin’
i got a thousand colleagues, but so few friends
so when my closest friendship came to an end
i had to face reality, i couldn’t pretend
your ringtone on my phone that will never ring again
read our old texts i can’t believe there won’t be another
i wasn’t ready to know what it was like to lose my brother…
[verse 2]
covid made it so your service, it was on zoom
so unfair to your legacy, your voice would boom
but on the other hand, i guess that it made sense
what real life sp*ce could hold your infinite friends?
i look at pictures of me holdin’ you way back when
and i sit back and wonder where the f*ck the time went
when our mom left us back when i was ten
it started the path that led us to your end
remember we snuck out? i was thirteen?
2am, quarters in the mortal kombat machine
dad beat my ass for taking you with me so early
but i was a teenager and i felt so worldly
hanging out with you sometimes, man, it was weird
people’d meet you and act like knew you for a million years
they should use your picture, to define charisma
you never cared about hand that life was dealin’ ya’
the way that we described you was “laissez*faire”
do your thing with eternal smiles, without a care
man, how the f*ck is life so unfair?
if i had enough left i’d pull out my hair
so many other people i’d pick to swap with you there
i’ll never have another best man at my wedding
sometimes you were hard as f*ck, but often softer than bedding
the way that you’d start laughing at nothing, man, that sh*t was infecting
had my whole life with you, my son didn’t even get a decade
i’ve been up all night thinking about you giving myself a neckache
that very last trip to vegas, n0body could shake us
bottle of fireball we downed, i’m spitting fire about it for ages
it wasn’t just my spirit, you also took away age’s
your life’s “a song of ice and fire” and short 10,000 pages
now i sit alone by myself rapping and a cry
three years later and i’m still asking myself why
life was in lockdown, you were in a coma
but with covid going on i couldn’t go the
all the way to vegas and spend your final moments
you never grew up, you were a lifelong kid
amber alert on you all our life, it’s also what made you skid
nothing will change my mind, i can’t forget and can’t forgive
if i could make you come back there’s nothing i wouldn’t give
[spoken]
i miss you, jeremy

- awol nerd lyrics

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