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father - austin joyce lyrics

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[verse 1]
days till we decease, decrease, as time goes on
one day you’re right next to them (snap) then they’re gone
stings from the distance, but the memories still carry on
look towards the light, he fights, finally calm

push aside, i just cry, and try, to flee and run
standby, asking why, he died, your will be done
strong ties, with a life, resides, his flesh and blood
i sigh, mesmorized, the lies, fill up my tongue

my dad died, by the time, i arrived
couldn’t say bye
his lungs fried, by some medicine a dentist shouldn’t prescribe

some carelessness by a man
really cost me a father
suing, but money won’t bring him back
so why even bother

septocane substitutes
as a nova replacement
there’s no replacing my only dad
so why did you take him

i don’t understand your plan
but i know i do trust you
you’ve always been there
when i needed you most to come through
it’s a blessing that i saw him two days prior
cause a virus
took the small moments that we shared
with similar athletic desires

i reminisce on the times
you would watch me play ball
the nervousness crept up on me
in between every call

the whole time, in my mind, i just want impress you
hopefully you were blessed to
have a son to attest to

i hope that you’re proud of who i have become
when it’s set and done
when you sit around and ponder
god why did you take my father

[chorus]
lord, lord, lord
free my soul from all this hurt
my whole life been good with words
but can’t seem to come to terms

with the life you took from me
on my knees i beg and plead
god.. i hope this is the end
of this pain i’m dealing with
[verse 2]
rage goes uncaptured
this is a snapshot
of what it feels in a
rapture

control is my master
feeding off of disaster
man this seems super backwards

why do i always revert (take a step back)
never want to converse (i don’t talk back)
it keeps on making this worse (why ya do that?)
but christ still makes me his first (ha!)

and now i see a different side of things
you gonna see a different side of me
not picking parts of life, to decide to piece
but addressing all sides, for your eyes to see

my modesty
breeds from the hardest feats
a part of me
don’t try to startle me
i know i’m weak
but ima keep running hard until you work is finished and i’m six feet deep
i know my mama crying alongside the couch
god knows i’m tryna figure it out
i know we’re tempted to hold in the doubt
but i know it’s so easy to let it slip out

my life, i’ve been set apart
my life, i’ve been on a mission
i know that i can end up missing, but the point of the matter is to never give in

when things aren’t going our way
but god still gives me his grace
death, i never really wanna think about it
but i think about it to this day

now i’m trying to figure out where i am
showing to my fam where i stand
see you right there holding out your hand
but i hope i’m grabbing it, in time for prayer

now, i’m back and i’m tryna think through the back and forth inside my mind
i know i should of understood your holy and unfailed design
lord, i always wanna be your child
i still always wanna trust in you
but it’s really hard when i see my dad’s dead body there with no function

but i know this is time i should give to you
i know that you deserve my relentless praise
and to praise your name
for a life that was blessing me every single one of my days

lord i represent you in his honor
through you we will not falter
i may have lost a dad, but i’ll always have my father

[chorus]
lord, lord, lord
you freed my soul from all this hurt
my whole life was good with words
but through you, i’ve come to terms

with the life that’s gone from me
on my knees i would beg and plead
god.. i know this is the end
of this pain i’m dealing with

- austin joyce lyrics

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