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my body is a hell - atlas lyrics

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and i’ve been running out of patience, my poems aren’t as clever anymore
people say they’re all too honest, but honesty is all i can afford
maybe loss is not a bad thing, cus’ maybe i can write these songs again
or maybe now it’s just a pastime, maybe i should treat it like a friend
a friend i won’t see again

cus’ i don’t wanna die, but truly i don’t wanna be alive
i wish that i could vanish in my sheets, and turn into the puddles on your street
cus’ i don’t wanna die, but truly i don’t wanna be alive
i wish that i could vanish in my sheets, and turn into the grounds beneath your feet

cus’ i’ve been losing all my knowledge, sometimes i forget who i am
and am at the mirror, but i don’t recognize that man
my mom wanted a daughter, but she’d think it was absurd
cus’ as much as i feel different, family won’t accept those words
they won’t love me if i’m her

but i just wanna change, and everybody tells me it’s a phase
i don’t feel right as myself, with my failing mental health
and i just wanna change, but everybody tells me it’s a phase
and i don’t feel right as myself, my body is a h-ll

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