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if only - ashes like rain lyrics

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weary eyes awaiting sleep
been so long since i could feel
the cold pavement wrapped around my bones
voices clouding up my mind
a taste is all that i need
carve your melody in my spine and sing

cut my arms maybe then i will stop
cut my arms maybe i’ll f*cking stop
cut my arms maybe then i will stop
to numb this pain
cut my arms maybe then i will stop
cut my arms maybe i’ll f*cking stop
cut my arms maybe then i will stop
to fade away
every day’s the same happiness in vain
what else can i win if i have everything
tell me who dealt my cards every hand’s the same
what else can i lose if i lost everything

sink me under cardboard floors
you sedate and leave me whole
run your gold lips on my tongue
become a part of me

if only i’ve tried
to search for a different feeling
if only i’ve tried
to see myself for what’s beneath

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