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the role i play. - ash jetson lyrics

raised as a christian
but grew up an atheist
mood swings had a youngin
throwin and breakin sh*t
went to poppin from snortin
from drinkin from blazin it
moms prayed i’d quit
but dad was enablin
grave to the cradle
was dead before i was even makin it
past the age of fifteen
rehabilatationist
methods couldn’t break
satan’s grip
on my brain
the angels worked later shifts
just to come and save the kid
and im thinkin like… why me?
why not others?
when all i ever did was
lie to and hurt my mother
an even worse brother
wasn’t there for my sister
when pops walked out the door
and left me and her to wonder
if he ever even loved us at all
what if she thinks the same bout me?
i’d be f*ckin appalled
that thought hurts way worse
than all them f*ckin withdrawals
and i wanna talk about it
but there’s no number to call
for this one
tried hittin god
and it was my own conscious sayin
“wait, i thought you said he didn’t listen”
“try calling again
dial 666, son”
then the screen went black
and i lost the connection
and instead of gettin mad or gettin jaded
i realized
god don’t fix problems you created
the changin is up to me
to undo all of that hatred
the past
you can’t replace it
only face it
ive awakened
to the role i play
how i framed who i am today
with every single word that i say
the times that i lost faith
and the times i chose to pray
it ain’t god’s fault for the life i made
its the role i play
the role i play
how i framed who i am today
with every word i didn’t say
the time when i had faith
and when i chose not to pray
it ain’t god’s fault for the life i made
its the role i play

- ash jetson lyrics

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