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the rat fortress - arcadia grey lyrics

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can i ask you what it’s like to be a nihilist?
you’ll ask me, “what’s the difference?” (what’s the difference?)
to race, to die, you say that’s all there is
i sink, as i think, as i wonder why
i let my body decay from the inside
i sink, i think, as i wonder why
cross my arms and beg to die

can i ask you, “are you happy how you’re living?”
and you’ll respond, “what the f*ck’s the difference?”
responsibilities don’t care about your mindset
they’ll just take, and take, and take
and take, and take, and take
and take all that you have to give

so i’ll scream out, “are you happy how you’re living?”
and you’ll respond with, “what the f*ck’s the difference?”
i barely eat, i rarely sleep
i’ve lost a lot of weight
so i’ll keep burning my lungs away
tell my mother i’m sorry
i should’ve—there’s not enough time
there’s sharks in the water
though n0body seems to mind
i’m straining for solace
but it’s not very [?]
there’s blood in the water
and i’m afraid, what if i die?
know that i do not want to lie
sometimes, sometimes it’s hard to stay alive
i sink as i drink
as i long to be high
i spend my last breath to apologize
sorry, darling, i just can’t get to the phone right now
i’m not angry, i’m just fighting with my younger self
my lungs collapse as i become the thing i used to hate
i wanted more, i wanted more
than i knew i could take

can i ask you how you think the song ends?
and you’ll answer, oh, you’ll answer

’cause i figure, if there is intelligent life out there
then let’s teach ’em how to duel
hahahahaha!

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