a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 #

presidential rap battle - apush group 1 lyrics

rutherford b. hayes (brag):
yo my name is rutherford b. hayes
19th president of the united states
many believed i was unlikely to succeed
but i proved them wrong and continued to achieve
won the hardest election in history
who oversaw the end of reconstruction? oh yeah that was me
i helped reconcile divisions from the civil war
the north and south i just couldn’t ignore
made many efforts to push for civil service reform
knew that fеderal corruption needed to transform
fought for african americans еven past my presidential term
was a proud abolitionist and wanted to end slavery before a bigger storm
made efforts to protect african american voting rights
became the last president in the 19th century who even tried
even after my presidency i went on to attack patronage in our nation’s civil service system
at least i pushed for new reforms, regardless of my position
helped the american economy recover from the panic of 1873
those who faced debt and poverty were finally a little more carefree

arthur (roast):
your fraudulency
you like black people, no?
kinda shady how you left them fighting on their own
you’re one to talk bout spoils
yeah i’m p*ssed you fired me
no vp was there to certify
now, who’s the lying cheat?
is governing too stressful?
maybe you should have a drink
nah sober you is bad enough
your wife knew that i think
you’re supposed to lead america
why are you in paraguay?
well, maybe you should stay there
no one voted for you anyway
clev. (roast):
please, i had to laugh
said you loved black people so much?
then why did you leave them all alone in the draft?
how long did it actually take for you to think of achievements
because in reality you do so little, you leaving office was a relievement
you will forever go down as the president who ended reconstruction
now let’s see what they say about you when they see the ahead to the centuries of hurt and destruction
i will be patiently waiting until then
pfft maybe we would’ve been better off with samuel tilden

harr. (roast):
oversaw reconstruction? wanted abolition?
you fought for black people? and you ended the division?
nahhh all you did was create chaos and ruin
a second term would’ve been worse i’m glad you threw the towel in
although your presidency created problems for us all
it seems like all you wanna do is watch our country fall
when you pulled the troops out you created the solid south
and we’re twice the prez. that you were so you’d better watch your mouth

mck. (roast):
bro you couldn’t even win fairly
a president? pshhh you were barley
not even certified yikes thats awkward
you lied to the black people, thats backward
i thought you advocated for them?
then you pulled the troops out
left em on their own
i guess we shoulda known
a bum president you were
in the textbooks, your achievement list went by in a blur
garf (roast):
rutherfraud, even you knew you were done
and the world was happy on march 4th 1881
you say you were great? pleaseee you didn’t even try
i bet after every meeting you’d go to your room and cry
i bet that’s why you gave up on running for a second term
maybe leave the hard work to men
and just be an intern

*****

james garfield (brag):
i did more in 4 months then y’all did in 4 years
and unlike y’all i didn’t get there from scr*w*ng over my peers
my death inspired the pendleton civil service
the act gave federal jobs to only those who deserved it
it lowered government corruption
(which was part of your destruction)
so y’all get a big deduction
for your lousy gov. productions

i saved 10 billion a year, by lowering bond interest
so while i was governing our country
y’all were scrolling through pinterest
i fought for civil rights, yeah i loved black people too
* cough cough* , cleveland, yeah i’m looking at you
hayes (roast):
pretty unfortunate that you couldn’t speak for long
kind of makes sense though since your presidency term ended faster than a song
at least you can actually say that you were president for a life long
since i declined to run for my second term
the republicans turned to you as another option, too bad it was so short*term
i have to admit you’ll always be seen as second best
i would be lying if i said your policies and laws left me impressed, more so a little stressed
but let’s talk about that star route scandal where it all went terribly wrong
how could you not stop all that mail corruption that took place? you look like a ding dong

clev (roast):
okay wait we’re still not done. for the presidency next time just say you can’t handle it, man you couldn’t even figure out your cab*i*net
heard the other republicans have problems with your cabinet for admission, but hey i have a proposition, stop talking right now, none of us even liked you, and let’s be honest, as i promised, even britain mourned your death more than your own cabinet admissions
totally forgettable, your presidency regrettable, you weren’t even sensible
man you weren’t even the best president that was assassinated, that goes to lincoln, maybe you should add america’s most unknown president to your linked*in

harr. (roast):
we’ll cut you some slack
‘cause you like…died
but while you were alive
you could have at least tried
the whole star route thing?
yeah that was an epic fail
i’m surprised you showed up today
your invite’s lost in the mail

no one knows who you are
do you even realize that
when i search your name
all that comes up is a cat

mck. (roast):*
yo james, all the other presidents think you’re lames
whoa
ya we talking to you, garfield, never even had enough time to seal the deal
president for like what, a couple month?
it’s painful how average you are, you say you got a handle, but how bout that star route scandal?
ouch, that’s rough even grant said you have, “the backbone of an angleworm” yikes that’s tough but it’s fun to watch you squirm
hey what’s that sound? the hurt you so bad i hear your stomach churn. makes sense your are the tenth heaviest pres*i*dent
well america’s 20th president turned out to be bust, you picked a good vp tho you even said “trust” but he turned out to be a little unjust. man garfield you really set the bar low, now i guess i finally understand gui*toe (guiteau the guy that k!lled him)

arthur (roast):
bell worked harder than you ever did
in those 80 days
poor little c*n*l boy
and his hand*me*down from hayes
four month disappointment
don’t try to disagree
you weren’t good let’s be real
you’d be nothing without me
i decided things in congress
tie breaking to your needs
but you had to go and ruin by appointing half breeds
used to be homies, yeah i was your vp
kinda sad you died, but then where would i be?

*****

chester a. arthur (brag):
y’all can’t even roast me
but i’d like to hear your tries
the exclusion act, the taxes
would be worse without my compromise
machine boss politician
but i turned myself around
started civil service;
making new york city proud
instead of excess spending
yeah i fought for lower tax
north, middle class, and farmers
‘sup? i got your guy’s backs
redesigned the white house
cuz none of y’all got taste
the place was bland and boring
just like how y’all ran the states

hayes (roast):
you talk a lot of talk
for a president who could barely walk
you could blame that on bright’s disease
which was pretty obvious with all your unease
except you tried to hide it from your people
you lied which almost made it feel illegal
now let’s talk about how you felt about the chinese
i guess your brain was also filled with a another disease
you supported the chinese exclusion act of 1882
did you really think non*native people could ever be equal too?

garf. (roast):
why you angry bout the post?
i thought our goals were the same
you’re just mad i fought corruption
cuz that’s how you got your fame
always throwing lavish parties
to display your hospitality
arthur, give up politics
go hang out with your fam*i*ly
you think you’re so cool with your money
and your naval army, but
republicans will not forget
how you ignored our party
never won in your own right
only losses when you try
can’t win potus through elections
so you needed me to die

harr. (roast):
shut up dude you weren’t even elected
and you were only vp cause you were well connected
and even if we were to just ignore all your fraud
remember you were just president garfield’s lap dog
you paid more attention to your clothes than to actually being president
we can tell you didn’t know how to lead
yeah, it was pretty evident

mck. (roast):
imagine being a president
and your achievements just weren’t evident
youre remembered for your sideburns
well that sets a precedent
didn’t restribute the federal budget
but who am i to judge it?
america judged your fairly, it’s not a toss
go back to being a ny machine boss
with the 21st president, america took a loss…

clev. (roast):
you’re saying a lot for a president who was halfway dead
you sucked so bad that even your health fell apart to shreds
mr. new york turned president?
please without patronage, you’d still be a sad machine boss grabbing up everybody’s dollars and cents
maybe stick to business and leave politics behind
oh arthur don’t be sad
don’t you realize half of this country already wished you resigned?

*****

grover cleveland (brag):
yeah, yeah all jokes aside
do you all really think your presidency was better than mine?
the people called me an icon, please this isn’t even tied
leader of the bourbon democrats, that was me
classical liberalism is clearly the best way to run this country
when i won the presidency, i wasn’t unfair
i wasn’t going to fire republicans who performed their job with care
i even addressed congress to establish a new committee
in order to make sure all disputes between labor and the capital is resolved with peace and quickly
who was gifted a huge statue?
oh yeah that was me
and i can promise you americans will adore that statue until the end of our century
there’s so much more, but don’t forget
i signed the dawes act which gave millions of indians a place to rest

hayes (roast):
okayy now let’s not get too ahead of ourselves
anyone who thinks you were good must have been compelled
you encountered a lot of strikes and depressions in your second term
ruined your democratic party which really made you squirm
intervened in the pullman strike which angered labor unions and left you in a pike
not to mention that the democrats treated you with much dislike
you were seen as the most unpopular president in history
so for you to think you were the best, really is a mystery

garf. (roast):
honestly cleveland, you’re just a blabbering fool
and the country needed a 4 year break from your rule
you got beat by harrison
that’s so embarrassing
how you gonna let this old man walk all over you?
let me explain to you how to be a president
‘cuz you do realize you weren’t supposed to create a deficit?
the ‘93 depression was all because of you
if i wasn’t already dead, i would have gone on strike too

arth. (roast):
uhh, cleveland? how could you say i was bad
when you’ll only be remembered for the gold we didn’t have?
started firing republicans to please your little friends
who didn’t even like you so how’d you win again?
ruined the economy, and your party too
so many strikes, the people were real happy under you
oh sure there were increases
in poverty and debtors
a toddler could have solved the 93 depression better

mck. (roast):
america blamed you for the 93 depression
i bet they regretted your elect*shawn
hey do you wanna explain the secret deal?
you even hurt your own party
maybe thats why you weren’t invited to the best president party
you p*ssed off the workers too
homie during your term did you even have a clue?
you’re a bottom list president
and everyone knows that’s true

harr. (roast):
heyyy big steve
do you remember me?
it’s your long time republican enemy
why are we debating? you’re the worst president
1893 is more than enough ev*idence
and on top of that you banned chinese immigrants
i can’t say i’m surprised by your insolence
you made enemies of laborers?
oh yeah realll smart
and you caused your own party to completely fall apart

*****

benjamin harrison (brag):
your policies so bad, written like you couldn’t see
sorry can’t relate i’m the first prez with e*lec*tricity

got family in the northwest? do you want a nice reunion?
it’s because of me that they were admitted to the union
montana, the dakotas, washington, idaho
wyoming, like playing cards(?), i stacked the states up to the coast

national forest reservation
to save our vegetation
that’s not even my best creation
i’ve done so much for this nation

in my great presidency, i fought for everyone
sherman antitrust for farmers, that’s not all that i have done
i gave mckinley tariffs to the conservatives
not to mention my foreign policy was ino*vative
i made the first conference of the united states
and a pan american union
yeah i’d say thats pretty great

resisted germany and britain for the islands of samoa
and protected u.s. interests from all our foreign foes
uh i also solved a problem over seals in bering sea
so try all you want, you’ll never be as brilliant as me

hayes (roast):
it seems like you may have missed the many faults you made
the economic depression in agaria west and south which left your people afraid
probably because you formed the “billion dollar congress”
how could you spend all that money and live with that on your conscience?
you caused the panic of 1893 with the sherman silver bill
which is where we can say it all unfortunately, went downhill
you lost your popular vote and needed outside help
the help of new york party bosses were the only thing on your shelf
you formed unreasonably high tariffs
which made your reputation perish
no wonder why you were named “the human iceberg”
probably because of your cold nature

garf. (roast):
you gave businesses and soldiers all your extra government dollars
you realize when you did that you screwed over the blue collars?
how can you say you fight for them when this is what you do?
it’s funny because every single one of them hates you
you caused that violent steel strike over in homestead
and after that your influence in congress was dead
no wonder you’re irrelevant
you were born in indiana
and stop boasting
no one even wanted montana
you’re a real big talker
with a cold personality
and your billion dollar congress
was full of venality

arth. (roast):
obsessed with other countries
you might think it’s silly
but weren’t you the one
who almost caused a war against chile?
i had one term cuz i was sick
my life was almost over
but you were fine, there’s no excuse
so how’d you lose to grover?
first prez with electricity?
yeah that’s really rich
you forgot your fear of shocks
wouldn’t even touch the switch
we get it dude, you added states
like idaho montana
let’s not forget you only won by cheating indiana
dude you’re so irrelevant
no better than civilian
you realize people only think
of “harrison” with “william”

clev. (roast):
little ben let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here
even your nickname tells us about your sad career
i can say you do impress me
in the way that you upset over half of our country
i mean what did you think would happen
farmers would bow down to your feet after losing their pension?
it seems you want the validation of big corporations
that makes sense, i mean you’re hated by half our nation
maybe you should’ve taken the business route
it would’ve saved us a whole lot of strikes and overnight burnouts

mck. (roast):
your first term was bad enough
say you’re the best president
okay i’ll call your bluff
hey, wanna know some stuff?
you hurt the farmers with your billion*dollar funds
spent it on pensions
america shoulda gave your presidency a suspension
harrison, your presidency was trash
now that’s an accurate comparison…

*****

william mckinley (brag):
this mckinley
but you call me mcwinnley
won the spanish*american war
spain had that land sold
not to mention i praise gold
a former war vet of the civil war
to me winning isn’t a chore
my presidency wasn’t a snore
i was even re*elected for a second term
i bet thats make the rest of u squirm
i picked a good vp too, unlike some of you
roosevelt led the nation after me
now can you see
im the best president by far
i even modernized the navy
i annexed hawaii too
under me american spread to the ocean blue
call me the best? well that fact is simply true

hayes (roast):
this really is unfortunate
not sure how you can make an argument
i guess america wasn’t happy with your second depute
so they resolved that by running a bullet through you
you tried to begin the transition towards imperial power
but world war i showed how that turned pretty sour
you declared war against spain under false pretenses
was lying to your people, worth all your moral senses?

garf. (roast):
you used american sons as political puppets
couldn’t afford to stand up for yourself
i guess it’s not in your budget
you got nothing but grasshoppers up it that head
what, you weren’t successful in the states
so you tried guam instead?
big boy imperialist
but back home can’t deliver
could’ve ended depression faster
if you just used some silver
to be fair, you were shot, and you didn’t deserve it
but at least your death gave us the secret service

arth. (roast):
you spent all your reign
with battles offshore
how are you the leader
but peer*pressured into war?
you claim that you’re pro*business
but against monopolies
so not like how you wanted
to control the philippines?
an “afterthought”, but even that
is generous, i know
sorry, here’s a jacket
bet it’s cold in teddy’s shadow
you let everyone control you
you don’t even get a word in
either dead weight or you’re reckless
you are the white man’s burden

clev. (roast):
6 months in and they already regretted letting you win
like we said before, the forgotten president
gone too soon, yet replaced so fast
truth be told with teddy, we just got rid of the past
you didn’t even have spine, pressured into war
all these white man burdens, you act like its a chore
you rejected free silver, you wanted the gold
wanted all that land in the carribean, you shoulda bought a cabana
what a loser
don’t make me remind you of mark hanna

harr. (roast):
did you even make a single decision on your own?
you’re not great, you don’t even have a backbone
anytime you’re faced with a real problem you just choke
oh by the way, did you know your mountain was revoked?
you inherited a country overrun by inflation
but you didn’t help, it fixed itself, it was predestination
it’s unfortunate you had to go by assasination
maybe next time you’ll remember to hold onto your carnation

- apush group 1 lyrics

Random Song Lyrics :

Popular