bad dates - anthony jeselnik lyrics
like one thing i’ve never understood is the foot fetish, are you guys together right here? five years, do you ever suck on her feet? no. would you, if you had a different girlfriend? or like you across the board, no feet? cause i’m across the board on my feet. i once went on a date with a girl where we went hiking. her idea. and while we’re hiking, she gets bitten by a snake in between the toes. and i had to suck out the poison. so she’s dead. what’s your name? where are you from? the suburbs. that sure narrows it down. what do you do? what do you do when you’re not being so f*cking boring. take your time, i’m really funny. you’re a full time student, what are you studying. psychology? where do you go to school? rockford college? so you’re not going to be a good psychologist. last question darling. have you ever been on a blind date before? no. lucky. went on a blind date once just once, and i will never do it again. it was the biggest disaster of all time, she ended up being a burn victim. by the end of the night. i mean it was the worst
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