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kitchen (lost) - anthony jay sanders lyrics

i almost caved on a night that i’ll never miss
everybody that i loved seemed to ball their fists
i felt friendless and unwound
i heard death’s beckoning sound
i -ssaulted my system like i never did
if i had more, i’d be another statistic kid
but i didn’t, and i’m here
now i redirect my spears
i’m better, braver, and know more now than then
i will never taste that hate i felt again
’cause i’ll never

i stand and drink water in my kitchen like a godd-mn idiot
i think about the people i’ve hurt and the lines they hit me with
clear like fear, aloof like another thing
hands at my side, can’t see that i’m juggling
i’m not the center of anyone’s self, but i have several centers
i’m not the center of anyone’s self, but i have several centers
some people look old when they turn thirteen
i’m in my kitchen at night ’cause i had a bad dream
some people look old when they turn thirteen
i’m in my kitchen at night ’cause i had a bad dream about you

only you can rip me out of this kitchen
and make me grovel all over town
you are the split where i fix my vision
open your door, i’m outside now
the most guilty i’ve ever felt
you outdid all the art we saw
in your honor, i’m dropping anger
in your honor, i’m dropping anger
in your honor, i’m dropping anger

don’t get lost in the place you live
see the way the webs you wafted stick all over ever finger
learn to forgive
don’t see a burden and make your bed
it’s not worth the folded shoulders
you’ll sleep coverless and colder
call me instead, call anyone else
you look so perfect in your house
definitely something
definitely something

i don’t remember what i’m supposed to say right now
it’s been a hard year
i don’t know if i’ve been pretending to be happy while pretending to be sad
i feel like a ghost watching anthony be young
home is really far away
i’m gonna clench my teeth all the way there

- anthony jay sanders lyrics

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