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lose a friend - annika bennett lyrics

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[verse 1]
i’m still frozen on the deck
i’m still sprinting down the hall
his hands still push down on my head
by the fence at governor’s ball
and i guess i still pretend
it doesn’t all feel like my fault

[verse 2]
i still sit outside that house
let him kiss me in his car
i’m still dying to get out
he’s still pushing me too far
and i still wish that i turned down all those drinks back at the bar
why’s it so hard?
[chorus]
i didn’t wanna make a big deal
i didn’t wanna lose a friend
i didn’t wanna make it this real and have to feel it all again
i didn’t wanna make a big deal
but it’s a big deal in the end
it’s a big deal in the end

[verse 3]
i’m still cringing at a name
i’m still lying in a bed
trying not to let my brain hеar the way my heart objects
i washеd the clothes but to this day i never put them on again, again

[chorus]
i didn’t wanna make a big deal
i didn’t wanna lose a friend
i didn’t wanna make it this real and have to feel it all again
i didn’t wanna make a big deal
but it’s a big deal in the end
it’s a big deal in the end

[bridge]
you’re not my f*cking friend
you’re not my f*cking friend
you’re not my f*cking friend
[outro]
i’m still twenty, i’m still ten
i’m still noticing the hurt
’cause i remembered everything
i just never found the words

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