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cartoon individual's song - animaniacs lyrics

i am the very model of a cartoon individual
my animation’s comical, unusual and whimsical
i know the kings of england, and i quote the fights historical
from marathon to waterloo, in order categorical;
i’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
i understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
about binomial theorem i’m teeming with a lot o’ news
with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
i’m very good at integral and differential calculus;
i know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
in short, in matters comical, unusual and whimsical
i am the very model of a cartoon individual!

i know our mythic history, king arthur and sir caradoc;
i answer hard acrostics, i’ve a pretty taste for paradox
i quote in elegiacs all the crimes of heliogabalus
in conics i can floor peculiarities parabolous;
my muse is into music, but my credit i’ll not trouble you
from r&b to s&m, cross over c&w
to groovin’ with the doobies in my malibu white*souling tones
man, i’m older than the beatles, but i’m younger than the rolling stones
then i can write a washing bill in babylonic cuneiform
and tell you every detail of caractacus’ uniform:
in short, in matters comical, unusual and whimsical
i am the very model of a cartoon individual!
in fact, when i know what is meant by “mamelon” and “ravelin”
when i can tell at sight a mauser rifle from a javelin
when such affairs as sorties and surprises i’m more wary at
and when i know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”
when i have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
when i know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery –
in short, when i’ve a smattering of elemental strategy –
you’ll say a better major*general has never sat a gee
for my military knowledge, though i’m plucky and adventury
has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
but still, in matters comical, unusual and whimsical
i am the very model of a cartoon individual!

- animaniacs lyrics

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