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like a boss - andy samberg lyrics

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mr. samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
no problem.
so you’re in charge around here, is that fair to say?
absolutely, i’m the boss.
ok, so take us through a day in the life of, “the boss”.
well the first thing i do is–

talk to corporate (like a boss)
approve memos (like a boss)
lead a workshop (like a boss)
remember birthdays (like a boss)
direct work-flow (like a boss)
my own bathroom (like a boss)
micro-manage (like a boss)
promote synergy (like a boss)

hit on deborah (like a boss)
get rejected (like a boss)
swallow sadness (like a boss)
send some faxes (like a boss)
call a s-x line (like a boss)
cry deeply (like a boss)
demand a refund (like a boss)
eat a bagel (like a boss)

har-ssment lawsuit (like a boss)
no promotion (like a boss)
5th of vodka (like a boss)
sh-t on deborah’s desk (like a boss)
buy a gun (like a boss)
in my mouth (like a boss)
oh f-ck man, i can’t f-cking do it, sh-t!

p-ssy out (like a boss)
puke on deborah’s desk (like a boss)
jump out the window (like a boss)
suck a dude’s d-ck (like a boss)
score some c-ke (like a boss)
crash my car (like a boss)
suck my own d-ck (like a boss)
eat some chicken strips (like a boss)

chop my b-lls off (like a boss)
black out in the sewer (like a boss)
meet a giant fish (like a boss)
f-ck his brains out (like a boss)
turn into a jet (like a boss)
bomb the russians (like a boss)
crash into the sun (like a boss)
now i’m dead (like a boss)

uh huh. so that’s an… average day for you then.
no doubt.
you chop your b-lls off and die.
h-ll yeah.
and i think at one point there you said something about sucking your own d-ck?
nope.
actually, i’m pretty sure you did.
nah, that ain’t me.
ok, well this has been eye-opening for me.
i’m the boss.
ya, i know, i got that. you said it about four hundred times.
i’m the boss.
ya, ya, i got it.
i’m the boss.
no, i heard you, see you later!
(like a boss)

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