he vas my boyfriend - andrea martin lyrics
love comes when you least suspect it
love dances in on a whim
i thought maybe i could direct it
but i never expected…
a guuy like him
he was a bully und a brute
he vas as crazy as a coot
still i didn’t give a hoot
he vas my boyfriend!
with ev’ry voman he vould flirt
he alvays treated me like dirt
but i vas happy to be hurt
he vas my boyfriend!
i vas as pure as a virgin meadow
lying with vicotr in the gloam
then he turned to me, that charmer, whispered, “let’s
play farmer.”
and plowed me ’til the cows came home!
he vas a monster and a beast
his midnight bangings never ceased
it didn’t faze me in the least
he vas my boyfriend!
i’ll never forget the first time i met victor. it vas
on the village green
at the annual bock beer festival, where every beer cost
a bock
i vas an innocent young lamb and he was a dirty old
goat
ve vere made for each other
all of a sudden, he took out his paraphernalia and
shouted
“let’s play croquet!”, and off to the field ve vent
he carried his hoops and mallets and i carried his
b-lls
what a festival! fun and games all day long. archery
badminton, potato sack
victor won the three-legged race… all by himself. it
vas love at first sight
he vas the one i gave my heart to
but ve never wed even so
if i mentioned wedlock
he’d put me in a headlock!
vhen i asked to be his wife
he stabbed me with a kitchen knife
ach, where did the good times go?
if he had an angry fit
i vas the first thing that he’d hit
but i didn’t give a sh-t…
he vas my boyfriend!
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